[He can see what Jayce means when he says he feels like it comes naturally. Watching him go from one spell to another, looking so pleased with himself, fills Viktor with a sort of pride. He has his own theories about the arcane, about how a lack of inborn ability does not necessarily mean they can't connect with the magical forces that exist in the world around them. Hextech is proof enough of that.
Viktor wipes his hands on a cloth napkin, takes his mug of tea in both hands and then settles comfortably against Jayce's side, leaning into him. He tilts his head upward and simply look for a few long moments, expression entirely fond.]
Jayce. There's no memoir.
[Sure, all of the talk about it was clearly jokes, but just in case...]
[ Jayce has taken to magic in a way that feels like inborn talent, or maybe it's that he is so dedicated to learning it after being in love with it for years, that it's all about focus and determination. Either way, he's picking up on it fast. When he gets the time to really dive into higher-level magic, it may be his arcana symbolically is entirely correct, he will be a magician. A part of him does wish for that aspect he could be somewhere like Thorne, where magic is everywhere and he'd probably already be on his way to mastery, but he's been trained by other Summoned, and lack of access has never stopped him before.
He is happy that Viktor seems pleased for him, not openly commenting on it, but he knows that warm look in his lover's eyes. It is nice to be sitting like this, so casual, naked and sated and intimate. Having a cup of tea the morning after they finally consummated this heat between them, and it's far from the end. They've only just begun as a couple. Jayce as usual has an easier time seeing all the positive possibilities. Despite his grief and self-flagellation over his bad choices, he still is an optimist.
He turns his head toward Viktor after feeling his gaze on him and smiles at him, setting his own glass of juice to the side, so he can affectionately cup Viktor's cheek. ]
I know. I'm teasing. Although I do think your memoir would be fascinating.
[ Viktor's led a very interesting life. Jayce learned more about his childhood recently, and it's all complicated and fascinating. He could fall right into Viktor's golden eyes and drown in them. ]
I should have told you how I felt years ago. Did you really not know?
You're biased. Plus, you'd enjoy reading about yourself too much, so I can't count on you for an impartial assessment.
[With regards to, you know, this hypothetical memoir that Viktor is never going to write. It's not worth doing here, when he hasn't made the same impact on this city as he has Piltover--not that they'd really want to remember him, anyway. Really, the only reason why he might want to do it back home is to secure his own legacy in one way or another, but as always he thinks he has better uses for his time.
Despite the events of the last week (and, for that matter, last night), it still feels like they have a lot to catch up on. Viktor isn't surprised when Jayce decides to start asking some of those unanswered questions.]
I had suspicions. You're not very subtle. [But, there were so many ways to talk himself out of it. He didn't want to jeopardize their relationship. The work was too important. Then, he fell ill. It was easy to put it all out of his head.] Too much else in the way. Getting our work through the Council...I didn't want to distract myself. And, I don't know. Part of me felt that if I acted on anything, well. I had a feeling you would have said yes, and perhaps I was frightened of that.
[His face falls a little. Viktor doesn't think he needs to outright say anything about his declining health, but the truth of the matter is that sparing Jayce the worst of it was just as much of a factor as everything else.]
There was too much I needed to do. I thought that overcomplicating things between us would be...detrimental.
I'm biased because I want to know all about you, nice things said about me would be a pleasant addition.
[ Viktor's never really been that forthcoming about himself, whereas Jayce is an open book most of the time. And he doesn't resent that, he's just been curious for a long time. The insight into how he met Rio and that part of his life only gave Jayce hunger for more. But he knows Viktor might need to do some things in his own time. He's at least willing to answer questions about the two of them directly, which Jayce appreciates. ]
I'm the least subtle person you know. Believe it or not, I was trying really hard not to be obvious. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable and push away from me.
[ Jayce knows he's intense and since he had no idea how Viktor felt, it seemed too much a possibility for it to hurt them both. Sometimes he thought it was possible it was mutual, back home once or twice, here he's started to believe it more, but never any certainty. Viktor's as difficult to read as Jayce is easy. That is why it took him literally saying it to Jayce's face for him to believe it.
He moves his hand from Viktor's cheek through his hair, gentle strokes of his fingers into the mess of tousled strands, over and over. Soothing, maybe, after that slight face fall. ]
I want you to know that I remember what our priority is. I haven't lost sight of it just because I am admittedly consumed with how much I want you.
[ That priority being saving Viktor's life, obviously. They have limited time. They may have been able to extend it in a few ways, but it isn't done yet. Jayce already promised to be done with it when Viktor asks, but they're not there. The only way they can have any kind of real future is if they save him. Being with him for longer than a few months is the goal. ]
I understand you thought you were sparing me, but you have been the most important thing to me for a long time. There is no sparing me, V.
[ Jayce leans in to press their foreheads together. ]
If I knew when we met, I would do everything the same way. I wouldn't trade you for anything.
You never made me uncomfortable. I meant it, when I said our partnership is the most important thing in my life.
[Whatever form it takes, and he, too, wouldn't trade it for anything. Taking things a step further is exciting, and a little scary, and he still isn't sure how long it will last, but he knows that he'll be glad to have had the chance. He doesn't need to ask if Jayce feels the same way--it's written all over his face. For now, he enjoys their closeness, leaning into the hand that strokes through his hair. It's soothing. He's spent so long rejecting comfort that now that he can so openly enjoy it, he does so.
Jayce reaffirms what he already knows, but Viktor still feels a pang of remorse. He wasn't exactly planning on having this conversation now, wanting instead to enjoy the moment, but if Jayce is the one who takes it there, he would be remiss if he tried to avoid it.]
This isn't going to be easy. I might have more bad days than good ones.
[Jayce is so blindingly optimistic and so focused on their success and the future that Viktor can't help but think about the smaller, painful moments that are sure to come. What happens when Viktor can't work and takes it all out on the only person available? The healing is a stop-gap for now, but it still might happen. He might get worse. He's not sure if either of them are prepared for it, and though he knows Jayce won't take the out, Viktor needs to offer it anyway, if only to assuage his own guilt.]
[ Jayce didn't expect to have this conversation now either, but it feels like it happened naturally and he doesn't think anything can actually dampen his joy about them being a couple. Sure, it's harsher than the happiness they were coasting on, but for him it's one more thing about being intimate. Being honest, talking things out, and then taking comfort from each other. And once they have the talk, they can know it's out there and move on, hopefully to more kissing. ]
I'm the King of Too Much.
[ It's a joke but he keeps running his fingers through Viktor's hair, hoping that it's helping. Viktor isn't as obvious as him when it comes to showing emotions, but he can feel him relaxing with the comforting pets. ]
Hey, look at me.
[ Jayce leans back so he can make eye contact, his soft gold-brown eyes their usual amount of painfully sincere. ]
I don't need an out. If there's one thing you can count on, it's that my love for you is stronger than anything you could throw at me. So stop wasting valuable energy on pushing me away. I'm never going to leave you by choice.
[ He says leave you by choice because they never know what happens here or why it does, so he doesn't want to make promises he ultimately can't keep. But Jayce knows that otherwise, his word is all he needs to give. He knows what Viktor is doing, bringing up the reasons he should go, and he looks deep into Viktor's golden eyes. Jayce puts his other arm over Viktor's slender shoulders and simply half-holds him like this, his embrace warm and solid. ]
Let me be here for you. Just give in. You know how pointless it is to argue with me when I'm determined.
[ Jayce smiles faintly, trying to hit that nice medium ground between playful and serious. ]
[Once again, Jayce is so earnest that Viktor has no choice but to believe him. He has some doubts--that neither of them really know what's in store for them until it happens. That, in all possibility, Viktor might get that bad, to the point where they both regret it. He reminds himself he'd be living with Jayce either way, and he has no control over Jayce's feelings. They're going to exist, whether or not he acts on them. He knows that.
And if there's no sparing Jayce either way, then why shouldn't he allow them this? Even if it's only for a short time, it will be worth it.]
Okay. You make a compelling point.
[Viktor believes him. How can he not? But he had to say it, regardless, and he's sure this will not be the last of these discussions that they have. For now, he resolves to enjoy this, even if it still feels bittersweet. He's not much for words, at least, not in the way Jayce is, so he resolves to show more physical affection instead, settling into the embrace and craning his neck a little so that he can press his lips to the underside of Jayce's jaw.]
[ Jayce may seem like he's too optimistic, and in a way he is, but he does understand he may have to watch him degrade in front of him despite all his efforts, until he cannot take it anymore. And Jayce will survive him and have to find a way to live without him. He's just not willing to go there yet. For now, he can let them both be happy in this. He wants that, needs that. If he can give Viktor moments of real happiness, even if fleeting between the bad times, it's worth it.
Jayce treasures the kiss to his jaw and tilts his head a little back in a silent request for maybe more of that. Just a little. His hand moves from Viktor's hair down to his shoulder and bicep, squeezing lightly.. ]
I didn't expect you to be affectionate. It's really great, I love it.
[He's not saying that he expected Viktor to be cold and distant either, maybe somewhere in between. Gradually allowing more intimacy but still keeping Jayce at arm's length. Instead he feels so close to him. He knows Viktor isn't likely to be loquacious, so this is good enough. Jayce is not afraid to express his preferences, as proven so far. He could beg himself hoarse one day.
What if Viktor touched him all the time? Any time he wanted to? Would Viktor like that? He doesn't know but he hopes so. Or knows at least that Jayce would want it.]
I can't believe you brought me rocks. You're so sweet.
[It's no surprise that Jayce relishes Viktor's affections--Viktor knows full well how much he's been withholding for the sake of keeping a professional distance between the two of them. Now that it's gone, and now that Viktor is free to express his feelings openly, it's very difficult to stop. Jayce is handsome, and nice to touch, and the fact that simple intimacy makes him so happy is strangely fulfilling. Knowing he's responsible. Knowing he's probably the only one who can make him feel this way.
He thinks again, selfishly, how good it is that Jayce is only his. That tilt of the head makes it obvious what Jayce wants, and Viktor is happy to oblige, leaning more fully against him and kissing his neck.]
What did you expect?
[Since Jayce apparently had so many fantasies about this. He rolls his eyes at the mention of the rocks.]
For the record, I would have brought you rocks regardless.
[ Jayce hopes he never stops. He may be getting the sense that Viktor won't mind as much as he worried, more gestures of affection. He wants to get used to the experience of kissing Viktor on the head when they're at the blackboard, holding his hand whenever he can, and slinging an arm around him for a side hug. Also kissing. He wants to kiss him enough to make up for all the times they weren't. No one else could ever make him feel this way, and what he's hoping for is that Viktor could say the same.
He sighs at Viktor's soft lips on his neck and enjoys the light tingle of it, half closing his eyes in contentment. ]
I thought it would be gradual, I've avoided seeing you with anyone else, so I didn't know what to expect. I hoped you would let me touch you more.
[ But he didn't expect Viktor to be the one touching him like he is now, so willingly. Jayce knows Viktor's been with other men, obviously, including after their partnership, but he ignored it. At first since it was none of his business, later because he is what one might call a jealous person. Or possessive. So is Viktor, considering he likes Jayce being only his. ]
I know, that's why it's sweet. You were thinking of me.
[ He also can't really stop touching him, his free hand running down Viktor's arm and to his back. ]
Have you ever thought about us? What it would be like?
[Viktor pulls away, a signal that he's about to say something very serious, and wants Jayce to understand the gravity of it. There's no hint of joking in his voice--he seems entirely sincere.]
Jayce, I'm always thinking of you.
[Even when he's angry. Even when Jayce has done something nearly unthinkable, as evidenced by the fact that he was stuffing his pockets full of rocks for him before the trip went south, when he thought it would be a simple half-day excursion to get his mind off things. Turns out he wasn't really able to do that, a testament to how inextricable they've become.
He shifts a little on the mattress, leaning back into Jayce's chest and inviting him to wrap a hand around his middle. Viktor laces their fingers together while he thinks of an answer to the question--but the truth is he's worked so hard to focus on his work that he's left little time for a future he never thought would belong to him.]
I'm not sure. Something like this, maybe. [Vague brushstrokes. Jayce would be kind, and considerate, and would like being told what to do. They would share quiet mornings, then go to the lab and get to work, and go home together at night. He feels increasingly vulnerable even thinking about it, and he has to fight his own kneejerk reaction to close everything back up.] You know...when I arrived here, alone, I was certain I'd never see you again.
[ Jayce is getting used to Viktor throwing in a little humor, obviously as a slight defense mechanism at times, and he's fine with it, they have different varieties of sincerity. Viktor proves exactly that when in all seriousness he says that, and Jayce feels like the breath rushes out of him all at once. ]
You're always thinking about me.
[ He is used to always thinking about Viktor, which is unsurprising considering Jayce's infatuation and focus. He is still getting used to being as important to someone else, especially Viktor. It means everything to him. He's echoing it as if trying to reiterate to himself that Viktor really said it, and he never says anything he doesn't mean. His heart hurts in the most beautiful of ways.
Jayce follows Viktor's physical suggestions by wrapping his arm around his middle and squeezing Viktor's hand affectionately. He leans his head into Viktor's hair and smells it, breathing him in. Nice thanks to the bath, but also it's just him. This is so nice. It's the stuff of dreams. Jayce is ahead of Viktor in terms of having thought about the details for a long time. All the same things, repeating in his mind for years, but he still held back. ]
I could tell when you saw me. You looked shocked.
[ And for Viktor, he was actually really obvious about it that first day. Shocked, pleased, like he missed him. And then he was willingly clingy, letting Jayce be with him at all times. They were more attached than ever. ]
I know you've already picked up that I've been ... insecure since I got here. You were doing good with your new life and new friends. It's not a bad thing, it's not like I wanted you to pine for me, except maybe I did. Just a little.
[ He feels vulnerable about this admission because he thinks it makes him look pretty selfish and needy, but some things are emotional and irrational. ]
It isn't that I thought it was impossible. The factions seem inclined to bring in groups of people from the same places, so I always knew it was a possibility, I just-- [This is the hard part to voice.] --I didn't think I would live long enough to see it happen.
[It's not lost on him, how lucky he is. That even, across universes, he and Jayce were able to find each other, and come to this point.
He knows this hasn't been easy. Their reunion was an adjustment for both of them, to say nothing of the secrets they were keeping from each other and how they needed to learn how to function on the same wavelength again. Now, it feels like everything is falling back into place. He knows it's a function of being removed from home, but he thinks he'd like to treasure this while he can.
Jayce voices his insecurities once again, and Viktor still finds them misplaced. He can't think of this as a new life, not when so much from home still haunts him, most of all physically, but he has made new friends, which has been surprisingly refreshing. He knows how hard it was for Jayce to try and insert himself into Viktor's established status here. The fact that Jayce is still worrying about it has Viktor wanting to quell those uncertainties once and for all. He loops himself out of the embrace and repositions again, this time straddling Jayce at the thighs so that they can be face to face. He wants Jayce to see how deeply serious he is, when he says this.]
Please don't ever doubt how much I care for you. [It isn't an I love you, but in Viktor terms, it's about as close as he gets.] I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that wasn't the case.
[ Jayce can tell that was difficult for Viktor to admit to, his own mortality always on his mind obviously, and that even with his new friends, he'd still possibly die without closure or Jayce there. He squeezes his arm around Viktor to give him quiet support and comfort because he is here. Not only did he arrive, he came in the same location, and they managed to get to this place together.
He does feel guilty for his jealousy because he knows it's not rational. His reasonable mind points out how good it is for Viktor to be treated well, and he's met several of his friends and likes them all a lot. It's a fear of being left behind, of no longer being needed now there are options. Maybe a part of Jayce did think that being Viktor's only friend is the reason they were so close, if he'd lose his place of importance in Viktor's heart if he could pick from anyone else. Insecurity is not a new problem for Jayce.
Jayce releases him when he starts to move and smiles up at him when he settles into a new position; he's a big fan of this one. He can look up at his face and frankly, this angle just underlines Viktor's cheekbones and angular face, which Jayce admires. He lets his hands drop to Viktor's hips, thumbs running along his hip bones comfortably. ]
I believe you.
[ Much like Viktor struggled with Jayce saying he's beautiful, Jayce struggles with the emotional version of that. He does believe him. He knows Viktor. He wouldn't say or do anything without meaning it. It's just hard when Jayce's negative filter gets into his head. ]
It's not anything you made me feel, it's how I am sometimes. But I ....
[ Jayce gets flustered, like he usually does when he's about to step outside of his comfort level, in this case to ask for something he wouldn't ordinarily. He takes Viktor's hand and kisses the knuckles, looking at it instead of at Viktor.]
It would be nice if you wouldn't mind reminding me occasionally.
[Jayce’s various anxieties are not new to him, but navigating them in the context of an actual romantic relationship will be an adjustment. It’s a challenge, however, that he’s ready to take on, because Jayce is worth it. He of all people should know that Viktor doesn’t do this for anyone—so the fact that he’s here in the first place should say it all.
All this, however, is noted. Something for him to keep in mind, as they develop as partners. Viktor knows he isn’t infallible, and that there’s more he can do to make Jayce feel valued. He wants to make him feel valued, in any way he can. Right now, he some ideas. The way he’s sitting in Jayce’s lap is entirely conducive to it.]
Would you like me to remind you now?
[Viktor doesn’t wait for an answer, using his advantageous position to very unsubtly grind down on Jayce’s hips.]
[ Jayce is fairly easy to reassure, it usually is about him being hesitant to ask for it when he needs it. He is getting better, being in a new place surrounded by new people did bring his anxiety level up, since there was nothing familiar and comfortable like their home was. For all its trouble, it was something he understood and knew and his foibles were handled day by day. It's been an adjustment being here, and then adapting to Viktor and his new normal, and their shifting feelings. In general, it's all good changes, but still in progress.
He sucks in a breath when Viktor grinds onto him and he flushes, nodding as he pushes his hips up toward Viktor in a clear request for more. It does not take much for desire to flow through him, still naked so he slowly hardens underneath Viktor.]
Yes please.
[ Jayce has been a little bit more of the aggressor as this all changed between them. The one kissing Viktor first, although Viktor definitely has wasted no time in responding to him, climbing on top of him, fulfilling his fantasies. But it usually starts with him so he looks hungrily up at Viktor. ]
[Viktor's hands slide around Jayce's shoulders, and his lips quirk upward a little as he looks down at him. Again, it's a nice vantage point, and enjoyable to discover all the ways he can make Jayce squirm. Of course he wants this--Viktor gets the sense he'll be ready to go at any time, and having that kind of sway over a person is more than a little satisfying. Slipping into the role of someone who gives instructions is easy, made even moreso by how receptive Jayce is to even the slightest movement.
All it takes is one little motion of his hips to have Jayce saying please.]
What a ridiculous question.
[That's teasing--they both know that Viktor never does or says anything he doesn't want to do or doesn't mean. This is no exception, which he emphasizes by leaning in for a kiss.]
[ Jayce is incredibly easy and down bad so Viktor could probably get him going with a single sentence, a suggestive look, or a single kiss. He isn't ashamed of wanting him with everything in him. How could he? Viktor is sexy, he always has been. He's not surprised at all that men wanted him before, but now he is Jayce's. His and no one else's.
Jayce lets his hands explore freely, running along his back, one moving underneath Viktor's boxers to grip his ass. He returns the kiss with yearning and though a part of him wants to pull Viktor down, get him to grind more, he's letting Viktor run this one. How much he likes that always is blatantly clear as he fully gets hard by that alone. Logically they've had sex, they've been all over each other, Viktor desires him. But Jayce still is turned on by hearing it. ]
What do you want?
[ He also thinks looking up at Viktor like this is one glorious view. It doesn't matter how thin he is. ]
[Crystal clear. Jayce has been nothing but ready and willing from the moment they got back into the apartment. Really, the only reason they didn't go all night was Viktor's own exhaustion from the journey. Now, they're both well-rested, with ostensibly nothing to do for the rest of the day, so the choice of activities is clear. Even Viktor, who doesn't want to waste a moment not working, seems amenable to this development.
Large hands slide into his shorts and he sits up a little, encouraging Jayce to pull them down his thighs. That, in particular, will take some maneuvering, especially if they want to get them full off, but he's in no rush. Viktor deepens the kiss, pressing the whole of his body up against Jayce, sliding his hands up his chest.]
[ If Viktor had been anything other than completely exhausted, Jayce might have been frisky over the course of the night, but he didn't lay a hand on him since he was so tired. But it means they're both very well-rested at the moment. He did have in mind a day of complete decadence and making up for lost time, within the realm of what Viktor would allow him. Right now it seems like he's going to allow him plenty.
It takes very little prompting for Jayce to slide his boxers down and try to finesse it off, although it isn't the most graceful of options as it is. He wants to make sure Viktor's bad leg doesn't go at a wrong angle either so he handles it as quickly as he can. He chuckles at the difficulty because it's not particularly smooth, but it definitely doesn't matter when he finally gets them off and gets to pull Viktor's now naked body fully against him.
The boxers are tossed across the room because they offended him by being difficult. And he doesn't want clothes on Viktor again any time soon.
Jayce's hand goes right back onto his ass and holds him tight, rocking his hips up to create friction. Their cocks slide against each other and Jayce groans loudly, his brain short-circuiting for a moment. He breaks out of the kiss as it shudders through him and lets his mouth move hotly over Viktor's jaw to his ear. He sucks on the earlobe and murmurs Viktor into it, low and needy. ]
[Viktor helps where he can, shifting and adjusting and trying to make it easier for Jayce to slide the shorts down one leg and another. They're both impatient, and it's clumsy to the point where he can't help but laugh, more openly than he has in a long time. Finally Jayce untangles him and tosses his underwear away like it personally offended him, and that just gets Viktor to laugh louder.
The detour, thankfully, doesn't last long, and soon Viktor is arching into Jayce, trying to take all the air out from between them. One hand snakes around the back of Jayce's head while the other comes to rest on his shoulder, giving him all the support he needs to grind his hips down. His mouth falls open a little and he tilts his head, allowing Jayce full access to his neck, if that's what he wants.]
Are you always this noisy?
[But, of course he enjoys it. It's thrilling, the way they've barely even started and Jayce is already losing his composure. Viktor tries to still his hips with a hand against them, an indication that he's going to take the lead, here. They're still feeling each other out in a lot of ways, but Viktor already gets the sense that things will be over far too soon if he doesn't enact a little self-control.]
[ Viktor's laughing and Jayce is so delighted that he smiles so wide it would start to hurt his face after enough time. He laughs with him because it's difficult not to feel lighter than air when they're flooded with endorphins and love. There are a lot of things he's already loving about being with Viktor, but them finding humor in the middle of the passion is now on the list.
Jayce takes full advantage of his neck as soon as it's offered to him, quickly becoming one of his favorite places to attack. He runs his tongue along it and then sucks right above where his curved neck turns into a shoulder. Considering how pale Viktor is, it might leave a little mark, but it's safely under where his normal shirts are buttoned to. Only they will know that it's there.
He whines when Viktor stills his hips, immediately doing as he's silently telling him, he really is good at following instructions. Jayce wants to keep going but he stays good instead, resisting the urge to lean forward and kiss more of him, sitting back instead and watching him with heated eyes. ]
You like it.
[ Jayce smiles as he runs both his hands down VIktor's back, cupping his ass and then curling around to his pale thighs. He teasingly brushes his thumbs on the inside of Viktor's thighs, close to his cock but not touching it. ]
[He can tell that Jayce is purposefully going for a spot below his collar, which is considerate, but Viktor troubles himself very little about what other people think. Here, there's no one with any preconceived notions about him, and he has no reason to act a certain way or do things just to placate a certain kind of person. If Jayce wants to suck a bruise into his neck, then he should. He doesn't care who sees.
Of course he likes it. Having all of Jayce's energy is overwhelming and intoxicating all at once. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to have enough of this, to know that Jayce--so desirable to so many people in so many different ways--has chosen to focus all of his attention on him. Viktor will not, however, outright admit it, as part of his larger plan to make Jayce squirm, but perhaps he gives it away a little when his lips quirk upward.
Still, if he's going to be betrayed by his own body, he prefers this. Jayce is being receptive to instruction, so Viktor rewards him by skimming a hand down his stomach and wrapping a hand around both their cocks, so that he can stroke them together, watching Jayce intently while he does so.]
[ Of course Jayce wants to mark him, he wants to leave love marks all over that smooth white skin, he wants them both to know that Viktor is his. And if other people see it too, all the better. But he was trying to be respectful until told otherwise, and now he knows he can give in to one more desire. Viktor only gets sexier with every passing moment, if he knew how good this was going to be he'd never have been able to wait.
Jayce sees that little smirk and reaches up to let his fingers trail over his curved lips, smiling back at him. It says plenty that he can read. As if he could stop giving him his full attention. He might have said something else but Viktor chooses then to touch him. He intentionally holds their cocks together and Jayce moans, knocking his head back against the headboard. It sounds like a good knock but it doesn't hurt, not compared to the pleasure crashing through his body. He's overcome and all Viktor is doing is touching him. ]
You like that I'm yours.
[ Despite being very, very into it, he does have some stamina, so he's letting this desire unfurl comfortably in him. Jayce drops his hands down Viktor's thin form and plays with his nipples, seeing if he likes that, learning the details about his body. He rubs them into points, resisting the urge to stretch up into Viktor's hand. Still good. Still behaving for him. All the while he keeps eye contact, catching his breath at a particularly good stroke he can feel down to his toes. ]
You like that I'll never look at anyone the way I look at you. You're the only thing I --- fuck, a little faster, please, only thing I see.
[Jayce wants him no matter what, that much is clear, but Viktor can't help but wish he wasn't so visibly affected by his illness. That he could be with Jayce as he's supposed to be, not so physically diminished, fully bare and unable to hide the way he's declined. He's dwarfed in almost every way, even in this arrangement, and when he steadies himself he sees his pale fingers wrapped around Jayce's bicep, an involuntary sigh escaping him in response.
The good news is that it's a challenge to get into his own head when Jayce is so responsive under him. All Viktor has to do is stroke them together once, and Jayce is tilting his head back, moaning unabashedly like he's never been touched in his life. It's intoxicating.]
I'd make a lot of people jealous, if they knew. I wonder what they'd think, if they could see their Councilor Talis now?
[If they knew what Jayce is like, fully at the mercy of someone else and coming apart under his practiced hands. Viktor is not invulnerable--Jayce rubs at his chest and he arches in response, trying to disguise the automatic motion by holding their cocks in place and grinding down again so that they slide against each other. His thumb circles the head of Jayce's a little clumsily, spreading the drops of precome, though that doesn't necessarily provide the slickness that he wants, if he's going to jack them off together.]
Hand me one of those bottles. Since you hid them everywhere.
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zvi
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Date: 2022-06-30 03:05 pm (UTC)Viktor wipes his hands on a cloth napkin, takes his mug of tea in both hands and then settles comfortably against Jayce's side, leaning into him. He tilts his head upward and simply look for a few long moments, expression entirely fond.]
Jayce. There's no memoir.
[Sure, all of the talk about it was clearly jokes, but just in case...]
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Date: 2022-06-30 06:48 pm (UTC)He is happy that Viktor seems pleased for him, not openly commenting on it, but he knows that warm look in his lover's eyes. It is nice to be sitting like this, so casual, naked and sated and intimate. Having a cup of tea the morning after they finally consummated this heat between them, and it's far from the end. They've only just begun as a couple. Jayce as usual has an easier time seeing all the positive possibilities. Despite his grief and self-flagellation over his bad choices, he still is an optimist.
He turns his head toward Viktor after feeling his gaze on him and smiles at him, setting his own glass of juice to the side, so he can affectionately cup Viktor's cheek. ]
I know. I'm teasing. Although I do think your memoir would be fascinating.
[ Viktor's led a very interesting life. Jayce learned more about his childhood recently, and it's all complicated and fascinating. He could fall right into Viktor's golden eyes and drown in them. ]
I should have told you how I felt years ago. Did you really not know?
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Date: 2022-06-30 08:45 pm (UTC)[With regards to, you know, this hypothetical memoir that Viktor is never going to write. It's not worth doing here, when he hasn't made the same impact on this city as he has Piltover--not that they'd really want to remember him, anyway. Really, the only reason why he might want to do it back home is to secure his own legacy in one way or another, but as always he thinks he has better uses for his time.
Despite the events of the last week (and, for that matter, last night), it still feels like they have a lot to catch up on. Viktor isn't surprised when Jayce decides to start asking some of those unanswered questions.]
I had suspicions. You're not very subtle. [But, there were so many ways to talk himself out of it. He didn't want to jeopardize their relationship. The work was too important. Then, he fell ill. It was easy to put it all out of his head.] Too much else in the way. Getting our work through the Council...I didn't want to distract myself. And, I don't know. Part of me felt that if I acted on anything, well. I had a feeling you would have said yes, and perhaps I was frightened of that.
[His face falls a little. Viktor doesn't think he needs to outright say anything about his declining health, but the truth of the matter is that sparing Jayce the worst of it was just as much of a factor as everything else.]
There was too much I needed to do. I thought that overcomplicating things between us would be...detrimental.
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Date: 2022-06-30 09:59 pm (UTC)[ Viktor's never really been that forthcoming about himself, whereas Jayce is an open book most of the time. And he doesn't resent that, he's just been curious for a long time. The insight into how he met Rio and that part of his life only gave Jayce hunger for more. But he knows Viktor might need to do some things in his own time. He's at least willing to answer questions about the two of them directly, which Jayce appreciates. ]
I'm the least subtle person you know. Believe it or not, I was trying really hard not to be obvious. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable and push away from me.
[ Jayce knows he's intense and since he had no idea how Viktor felt, it seemed too much a possibility for it to hurt them both. Sometimes he thought it was possible it was mutual, back home once or twice, here he's started to believe it more, but never any certainty. Viktor's as difficult to read as Jayce is easy. That is why it took him literally saying it to Jayce's face for him to believe it.
He moves his hand from Viktor's cheek through his hair, gentle strokes of his fingers into the mess of tousled strands, over and over. Soothing, maybe, after that slight face fall. ]
I want you to know that I remember what our priority is. I haven't lost sight of it just because I am admittedly consumed with how much I want you.
[ That priority being saving Viktor's life, obviously. They have limited time. They may have been able to extend it in a few ways, but it isn't done yet. Jayce already promised to be done with it when Viktor asks, but they're not there. The only way they can have any kind of real future is if they save him. Being with him for longer than a few months is the goal. ]
I understand you thought you were sparing me, but you have been the most important thing to me for a long time. There is no sparing me, V.
[ Jayce leans in to press their foreheads together. ]
If I knew when we met, I would do everything the same way. I wouldn't trade you for anything.
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Date: 2022-07-01 01:59 am (UTC)[Whatever form it takes, and he, too, wouldn't trade it for anything. Taking things a step further is exciting, and a little scary, and he still isn't sure how long it will last, but he knows that he'll be glad to have had the chance. He doesn't need to ask if Jayce feels the same way--it's written all over his face. For now, he enjoys their closeness, leaning into the hand that strokes through his hair. It's soothing. He's spent so long rejecting comfort that now that he can so openly enjoy it, he does so.
Jayce reaffirms what he already knows, but Viktor still feels a pang of remorse. He wasn't exactly planning on having this conversation now, wanting instead to enjoy the moment, but if Jayce is the one who takes it there, he would be remiss if he tried to avoid it.]
This isn't going to be easy. I might have more bad days than good ones.
[Jayce is so blindingly optimistic and so focused on their success and the future that Viktor can't help but think about the smaller, painful moments that are sure to come. What happens when Viktor can't work and takes it all out on the only person available? The healing is a stop-gap for now, but it still might happen. He might get worse. He's not sure if either of them are prepared for it, and though he knows Jayce won't take the out, Viktor needs to offer it anyway, if only to assuage his own guilt.]
I won't blame you if it's too much.
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Date: 2022-07-01 02:16 am (UTC)I'm the King of Too Much.
[ It's a joke but he keeps running his fingers through Viktor's hair, hoping that it's helping. Viktor isn't as obvious as him when it comes to showing emotions, but he can feel him relaxing with the comforting pets. ]
Hey, look at me.
[ Jayce leans back so he can make eye contact, his soft gold-brown eyes their usual amount of painfully sincere. ]
I don't need an out. If there's one thing you can count on, it's that my love for you is stronger than anything you could throw at me. So stop wasting valuable energy on pushing me away. I'm never going to leave you by choice.
[ He says leave you by choice because they never know what happens here or why it does, so he doesn't want to make promises he ultimately can't keep. But Jayce knows that otherwise, his word is all he needs to give. He knows what Viktor is doing, bringing up the reasons he should go, and he looks deep into Viktor's golden eyes. Jayce puts his other arm over Viktor's slender shoulders and simply half-holds him like this, his embrace warm and solid. ]
Let me be here for you. Just give in. You know how pointless it is to argue with me when I'm determined.
[ Jayce smiles faintly, trying to hit that nice medium ground between playful and serious. ]
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:23 am (UTC)And if there's no sparing Jayce either way, then why shouldn't he allow them this? Even if it's only for a short time, it will be worth it.]
Okay. You make a compelling point.
[Viktor believes him. How can he not? But he had to say it, regardless, and he's sure this will not be the last of these discussions that they have. For now, he resolves to enjoy this, even if it still feels bittersweet. He's not much for words, at least, not in the way Jayce is, so he resolves to show more physical affection instead, settling into the embrace and craning his neck a little so that he can press his lips to the underside of Jayce's jaw.]
Thank you for breakfast.
[And, for everything else.]
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:38 am (UTC)Jayce treasures the kiss to his jaw and tilts his head a little back in a silent request for maybe more of that. Just a little. His hand moves from Viktor's hair down to his shoulder and bicep, squeezing lightly.. ]
I didn't expect you to be affectionate. It's really great, I love it.
[He's not saying that he expected Viktor to be cold and distant either, maybe somewhere in between. Gradually allowing more intimacy but still keeping Jayce at arm's length. Instead he feels so close to him. He knows Viktor isn't likely to be loquacious, so this is good enough. Jayce is not afraid to express his preferences, as proven so far. He could beg himself hoarse one day.
What if Viktor touched him all the time? Any time he wanted to? Would Viktor like that? He doesn't know but he hopes so. Or knows at least that Jayce would want it.]
I can't believe you brought me rocks. You're so sweet.
[ It's said with infinite fondness. ]
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Date: 2022-07-01 03:51 pm (UTC)He thinks again, selfishly, how good it is that Jayce is only his. That tilt of the head makes it obvious what Jayce wants, and Viktor is happy to oblige, leaning more fully against him and kissing his neck.]
What did you expect?
[Since Jayce apparently had so many fantasies about this. He rolls his eyes at the mention of the rocks.]
For the record, I would have brought you rocks regardless.
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Date: 2022-07-01 05:18 pm (UTC)He sighs at Viktor's soft lips on his neck and enjoys the light tingle of it, half closing his eyes in contentment. ]
I thought it would be gradual, I've avoided seeing you with anyone else, so I didn't know what to expect. I hoped you would let me touch you more.
[ But he didn't expect Viktor to be the one touching him like he is now, so willingly. Jayce knows Viktor's been with other men, obviously, including after their partnership, but he ignored it. At first since it was none of his business, later because he is what one might call a jealous person. Or possessive. So is Viktor, considering he likes Jayce being only his. ]
I know, that's why it's sweet. You were thinking of me.
[ He also can't really stop touching him, his free hand running down Viktor's arm and to his back. ]
Have you ever thought about us? What it would be like?
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Date: 2022-07-01 06:27 pm (UTC)Jayce, I'm always thinking of you.
[Even when he's angry. Even when Jayce has done something nearly unthinkable, as evidenced by the fact that he was stuffing his pockets full of rocks for him before the trip went south, when he thought it would be a simple half-day excursion to get his mind off things. Turns out he wasn't really able to do that, a testament to how inextricable they've become.
He shifts a little on the mattress, leaning back into Jayce's chest and inviting him to wrap a hand around his middle. Viktor laces their fingers together while he thinks of an answer to the question--but the truth is he's worked so hard to focus on his work that he's left little time for a future he never thought would belong to him.]
I'm not sure. Something like this, maybe. [Vague brushstrokes. Jayce would be kind, and considerate, and would like being told what to do. They would share quiet mornings, then go to the lab and get to work, and go home together at night. He feels increasingly vulnerable even thinking about it, and he has to fight his own kneejerk reaction to close everything back up.] You know...when I arrived here, alone, I was certain I'd never see you again.
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Date: 2022-07-01 07:23 pm (UTC)You're always thinking about me.
[ He is used to always thinking about Viktor, which is unsurprising considering Jayce's infatuation and focus. He is still getting used to being as important to someone else, especially Viktor. It means everything to him. He's echoing it as if trying to reiterate to himself that Viktor really said it, and he never says anything he doesn't mean. His heart hurts in the most beautiful of ways.
Jayce follows Viktor's physical suggestions by wrapping his arm around his middle and squeezing Viktor's hand affectionately. He leans his head into Viktor's hair and smells it, breathing him in. Nice thanks to the bath, but also it's just him. This is so nice. It's the stuff of dreams. Jayce is ahead of Viktor in terms of having thought about the details for a long time. All the same things, repeating in his mind for years, but he still held back. ]
I could tell when you saw me. You looked shocked.
[ And for Viktor, he was actually really obvious about it that first day. Shocked, pleased, like he missed him. And then he was willingly clingy, letting Jayce be with him at all times. They were more attached than ever. ]
I know you've already picked up that I've been ... insecure since I got here. You were doing good with your new life and new friends. It's not a bad thing, it's not like I wanted you to pine for me, except maybe I did. Just a little.
[ He feels vulnerable about this admission because he thinks it makes him look pretty selfish and needy, but some things are emotional and irrational. ]
Sorry, I know it's silly.
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Date: 2022-07-01 08:33 pm (UTC)[It's not lost on him, how lucky he is. That even, across universes, he and Jayce were able to find each other, and come to this point.
He knows this hasn't been easy. Their reunion was an adjustment for both of them, to say nothing of the secrets they were keeping from each other and how they needed to learn how to function on the same wavelength again. Now, it feels like everything is falling back into place. He knows it's a function of being removed from home, but he thinks he'd like to treasure this while he can.
Jayce voices his insecurities once again, and Viktor still finds them misplaced. He can't think of this as a new life, not when so much from home still haunts him, most of all physically, but he has made new friends, which has been surprisingly refreshing. He knows how hard it was for Jayce to try and insert himself into Viktor's established status here. The fact that Jayce is still worrying about it has Viktor wanting to quell those uncertainties once and for all. He loops himself out of the embrace and repositions again, this time straddling Jayce at the thighs so that they can be face to face. He wants Jayce to see how deeply serious he is, when he says this.]
Please don't ever doubt how much I care for you. [It isn't an I love you, but in Viktor terms, it's about as close as he gets.] I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that wasn't the case.
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Date: 2022-07-01 09:04 pm (UTC)He does feel guilty for his jealousy because he knows it's not rational. His reasonable mind points out how good it is for Viktor to be treated well, and he's met several of his friends and likes them all a lot. It's a fear of being left behind, of no longer being needed now there are options. Maybe a part of Jayce did think that being Viktor's only friend is the reason they were so close, if he'd lose his place of importance in Viktor's heart if he could pick from anyone else. Insecurity is not a new problem for Jayce.
Jayce releases him when he starts to move and smiles up at him when he settles into a new position; he's a big fan of this one. He can look up at his face and frankly, this angle just underlines Viktor's cheekbones and angular face, which Jayce admires. He lets his hands drop to Viktor's hips, thumbs running along his hip bones comfortably. ]
I believe you.
[ Much like Viktor struggled with Jayce saying he's beautiful, Jayce struggles with the emotional version of that. He does believe him. He knows Viktor. He wouldn't say or do anything without meaning it. It's just hard when Jayce's negative filter gets into his head. ]
It's not anything you made me feel, it's how I am sometimes. But I ....
[ Jayce gets flustered, like he usually does when he's about to step outside of his comfort level, in this case to ask for something he wouldn't ordinarily. He takes Viktor's hand and kisses the knuckles, looking at it instead of at Viktor.]
It would be nice if you wouldn't mind reminding me occasionally.
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Date: 2022-07-02 12:42 am (UTC)All this, however, is noted. Something for him to keep in mind, as they develop as partners. Viktor knows he isn’t infallible, and that there’s more he can do to make Jayce feel valued. He wants to make him feel valued, in any way he can. Right now, he some ideas. The way he’s sitting in Jayce’s lap is entirely conducive to it.]
Would you like me to remind you now?
[Viktor doesn’t wait for an answer, using his advantageous position to very unsubtly grind down on Jayce’s hips.]
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Date: 2022-07-02 12:58 am (UTC)He sucks in a breath when Viktor grinds onto him and he flushes, nodding as he pushes his hips up toward Viktor in a clear request for more. It does not take much for desire to flow through him, still naked so he slowly hardens underneath Viktor.]
Yes please.
[ Jayce has been a little bit more of the aggressor as this all changed between them. The one kissing Viktor first, although Viktor definitely has wasted no time in responding to him, climbing on top of him, fulfilling his fantasies. But it usually starts with him so he looks hungrily up at Viktor. ]
Do you want me?
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Date: 2022-07-02 03:40 pm (UTC)All it takes is one little motion of his hips to have Jayce saying please.]
What a ridiculous question.
[That's teasing--they both know that Viktor never does or says anything he doesn't want to do or doesn't mean. This is no exception, which he emphasizes by leaning in for a kiss.]
Always.
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Date: 2022-07-02 04:33 pm (UTC)Jayce lets his hands explore freely, running along his back, one moving underneath Viktor's boxers to grip his ass. He returns the kiss with yearning and though a part of him wants to pull Viktor down, get him to grind more, he's letting Viktor run this one. How much he likes that always is blatantly clear as he fully gets hard by that alone. Logically they've had sex, they've been all over each other, Viktor desires him. But Jayce still is turned on by hearing it. ]
What do you want?
[ He also thinks looking up at Viktor like this is one glorious view. It doesn't matter how thin he is. ]
Anything you want is yours.
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Date: 2022-07-03 12:23 am (UTC)[Crystal clear. Jayce has been nothing but ready and willing from the moment they got back into the apartment. Really, the only reason they didn't go all night was Viktor's own exhaustion from the journey. Now, they're both well-rested, with ostensibly nothing to do for the rest of the day, so the choice of activities is clear. Even Viktor, who doesn't want to waste a moment not working, seems amenable to this development.
Large hands slide into his shorts and he sits up a little, encouraging Jayce to pull them down his thighs. That, in particular, will take some maneuvering, especially if they want to get them full off, but he's in no rush. Viktor deepens the kiss, pressing the whole of his body up against Jayce, sliding his hands up his chest.]
Take these off me.
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Date: 2022-07-03 12:53 am (UTC)It takes very little prompting for Jayce to slide his boxers down and try to finesse it off, although it isn't the most graceful of options as it is. He wants to make sure Viktor's bad leg doesn't go at a wrong angle either so he handles it as quickly as he can. He chuckles at the difficulty because it's not particularly smooth, but it definitely doesn't matter when he finally gets them off and gets to pull Viktor's now naked body fully against him.
The boxers are tossed across the room because they offended him by being difficult. And he doesn't want clothes on Viktor again any time soon.
Jayce's hand goes right back onto his ass and holds him tight, rocking his hips up to create friction. Their cocks slide against each other and Jayce groans loudly, his brain short-circuiting for a moment. He breaks out of the kiss as it shudders through him and lets his mouth move hotly over Viktor's jaw to his ear. He sucks on the earlobe and murmurs Viktor into it, low and needy. ]
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Date: 2022-07-03 02:41 am (UTC)The detour, thankfully, doesn't last long, and soon Viktor is arching into Jayce, trying to take all the air out from between them. One hand snakes around the back of Jayce's head while the other comes to rest on his shoulder, giving him all the support he needs to grind his hips down. His mouth falls open a little and he tilts his head, allowing Jayce full access to his neck, if that's what he wants.]
Are you always this noisy?
[But, of course he enjoys it. It's thrilling, the way they've barely even started and Jayce is already losing his composure. Viktor tries to still his hips with a hand against them, an indication that he's going to take the lead, here. They're still feeling each other out in a lot of ways, but Viktor already gets the sense that things will be over far too soon if he doesn't enact a little self-control.]
I'm barely touching you.
[Not true, but he's decided he likes to tease.]
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Date: 2022-07-03 03:14 am (UTC)Jayce takes full advantage of his neck as soon as it's offered to him, quickly becoming one of his favorite places to attack. He runs his tongue along it and then sucks right above where his curved neck turns into a shoulder. Considering how pale Viktor is, it might leave a little mark, but it's safely under where his normal shirts are buttoned to. Only they will know that it's there.
He whines when Viktor stills his hips, immediately doing as he's silently telling him, he really is good at following instructions. Jayce wants to keep going but he stays good instead, resisting the urge to lean forward and kiss more of him, sitting back instead and watching him with heated eyes. ]
You like it.
[ Jayce smiles as he runs both his hands down VIktor's back, cupping his ass and then curling around to his pale thighs. He teasingly brushes his thumbs on the inside of Viktor's thighs, close to his cock but not touching it. ]
You like that I'm desperate for you.
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Date: 2022-07-03 05:05 am (UTC)[He can tell that Jayce is purposefully going for a spot below his collar, which is considerate, but Viktor troubles himself very little about what other people think. Here, there's no one with any preconceived notions about him, and he has no reason to act a certain way or do things just to placate a certain kind of person. If Jayce wants to suck a bruise into his neck, then he should. He doesn't care who sees.
Of course he likes it. Having all of Jayce's energy is overwhelming and intoxicating all at once. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to have enough of this, to know that Jayce--so desirable to so many people in so many different ways--has chosen to focus all of his attention on him. Viktor will not, however, outright admit it, as part of his larger plan to make Jayce squirm, but perhaps he gives it away a little when his lips quirk upward.
Still, if he's going to be betrayed by his own body, he prefers this. Jayce is being receptive to instruction, so Viktor rewards him by skimming a hand down his stomach and wrapping a hand around both their cocks, so that he can stroke them together, watching Jayce intently while he does so.]
Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?
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Date: 2022-07-03 05:34 am (UTC)[ Of course Jayce wants to mark him, he wants to leave love marks all over that smooth white skin, he wants them both to know that Viktor is his. And if other people see it too, all the better. But he was trying to be respectful until told otherwise, and now he knows he can give in to one more desire. Viktor only gets sexier with every passing moment, if he knew how good this was going to be he'd never have been able to wait.
Jayce sees that little smirk and reaches up to let his fingers trail over his curved lips, smiling back at him. It says plenty that he can read. As if he could stop giving him his full attention. He might have said something else but Viktor chooses then to touch him. He intentionally holds their cocks together and Jayce moans, knocking his head back against the headboard. It sounds like a good knock but it doesn't hurt, not compared to the pleasure crashing through his body. He's overcome and all Viktor is doing is touching him. ]
You like that I'm yours.
[ Despite being very, very into it, he does have some stamina, so he's letting this desire unfurl comfortably in him. Jayce drops his hands down Viktor's thin form and plays with his nipples, seeing if he likes that, learning the details about his body. He rubs them into points, resisting the urge to stretch up into Viktor's hand. Still good. Still behaving for him. All the while he keeps eye contact, catching his breath at a particularly good stroke he can feel down to his toes. ]
You like that I'll never look at anyone the way I look at you. You're the only thing I --- fuck, a little faster, please, only thing I see.
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Date: 2022-07-03 05:37 pm (UTC)The good news is that it's a challenge to get into his own head when Jayce is so responsive under him. All Viktor has to do is stroke them together once, and Jayce is tilting his head back, moaning unabashedly like he's never been touched in his life. It's intoxicating.]
I'd make a lot of people jealous, if they knew. I wonder what they'd think, if they could see their Councilor Talis now?
[If they knew what Jayce is like, fully at the mercy of someone else and coming apart under his practiced hands. Viktor is not invulnerable--Jayce rubs at his chest and he arches in response, trying to disguise the automatic motion by holding their cocks in place and grinding down again so that they slide against each other. His thumb circles the head of Jayce's a little clumsily, spreading the drops of precome, though that doesn't necessarily provide the slickness that he wants, if he's going to jack them off together.]
Hand me one of those bottles. Since you hid them everywhere.
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