[ Jayce is surprised by the way that Viktor frames it. 'Let me just have this.' As if this is for Viktor too, and he is getting something out of it, and it makes his heart pound in his chest. It only gets worse when Viktor's fingers brush at his nape and he tries to keep his breathing steady and calm. He focuses on how nice it feels instead. How Jayce's head naturally settles onto Viktor's shoulder once it's allowed and then Viktor's chin is on his hair, and his eyes close, settling into this moment as if it is made of pure bliss. The stuff of dreams.
He says nothing, he basks in it. And it makes sense, it's not as if this comfort is one-sided. Viktor knows Jayce loves him, that he is devoted to him, and they both need this. Jayce has wanted to give him comfort before, but he's always been afraid to do more than touch his arm or his back. It's easier that it is Viktor's choice, that he is willingly giving it and asking for it.
It makes Jayce bold enough that he reaches out to take Viktor's other hand in his. He doesn't go so far as to thread their fingers together, but he does hold it. He does think about how easy it would be to turn his head. What it would be like to nuzzle Viktor's neck, so close, press his lips against the soft skin. But it's a fleeting thought. Jayce is far more about embracing what he is being allowed. Points of contact, and they feel great. Soothing. He's happy, despite all the pain.
He didn't expect Viktor to answer mostly because it seems so nebulous, to put wants out there like that, but Jayce's breath does get sucked in quickly when Viktor mentions them stopping. He wants to say no. He wants to say don't, please. Jayce lets his breath out slowly and squeezes Viktor's hand. ]
I will be. I'm with you, to whatever end.
[ If it's the end he dreams of, decades from now, that is ideal, but if it is a few months from now, he will have to live with that. And he will be the one that will have to live with it. The point is Jayce is loyal, he is going to stand by Viktor no matter what. If he has to watch him waste away, he will, but he isn't ready to give up.
His thumb caresses the back of Viktor's hand gently. ]
[It's a lot to ask--almost too much--and it isn't lost on Viktor that Jayce has effectively, gone through this twice. That's how he knows he'll agree, if and when the time comes--he's seen it himself, thanks to the strange exchange of memories.
Truthfully, he doesn't need to be asked if they can stay like this. He's exhausted, not just from trying to find Jayce, but from sharing that memory and trying to process everything in the aftermath. The hand is unexpected, but he supposes that subject matter like this calls for it. If Jayce wants to further ground himself, given everything they're both struggling with, Viktor isn't going to deny him. He thinks he could probably fall asleep like this, but upright on a bench is not exactly conducive to physical comfort. They'll head home, eventually. For now, however, this is enough.]
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zvi
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Date: 2022-05-03 02:35 am (UTC)He says nothing, he basks in it. And it makes sense, it's not as if this comfort is one-sided. Viktor knows Jayce loves him, that he is devoted to him, and they both need this. Jayce has wanted to give him comfort before, but he's always been afraid to do more than touch his arm or his back. It's easier that it is Viktor's choice, that he is willingly giving it and asking for it.
It makes Jayce bold enough that he reaches out to take Viktor's other hand in his. He doesn't go so far as to thread their fingers together, but he does hold it. He does think about how easy it would be to turn his head. What it would be like to nuzzle Viktor's neck, so close, press his lips against the soft skin. But it's a fleeting thought. Jayce is far more about embracing what he is being allowed. Points of contact, and they feel great. Soothing. He's happy, despite all the pain.
He didn't expect Viktor to answer mostly because it seems so nebulous, to put wants out there like that, but Jayce's breath does get sucked in quickly when Viktor mentions them stopping. He wants to say no. He wants to say don't, please. Jayce lets his breath out slowly and squeezes Viktor's hand. ]
I will be. I'm with you, to whatever end.
[ If it's the end he dreams of, decades from now, that is ideal, but if it is a few months from now, he will have to live with that. And he will be the one that will have to live with it. The point is Jayce is loyal, he is going to stand by Viktor no matter what. If he has to watch him waste away, he will, but he isn't ready to give up.
His thumb caresses the back of Viktor's hand gently. ]
Can we ... stay like this? Just a little longer?
no subject
Date: 2022-05-03 04:31 am (UTC)[It's a lot to ask--almost too much--and it isn't lost on Viktor that Jayce has effectively, gone through this twice. That's how he knows he'll agree, if and when the time comes--he's seen it himself, thanks to the strange exchange of memories.
Truthfully, he doesn't need to be asked if they can stay like this. He's exhausted, not just from trying to find Jayce, but from sharing that memory and trying to process everything in the aftermath. The hand is unexpected, but he supposes that subject matter like this calls for it. If Jayce wants to further ground himself, given everything they're both struggling with, Viktor isn't going to deny him. He thinks he could probably fall asleep like this, but upright on a bench is not exactly conducive to physical comfort. They'll head home, eventually. For now, however, this is enough.]
As long as you need.
[Well, until something cramps, maybe.]