Because Jayce agrees. He thinks that failure had everything to do with doing it on his own. And they both know the whys, but the important part is that here Viktor is making the right choice. He has let not only Jayce in but a few others, he has asked for help. Jayce puts an arm more firmly around him, hugging him to his side. He may as well offer all the comfort he can.
"I'm proud of you. I know it isn't easy."
He is letting people in. Strange, Nadine, Tony, Alucard. He has come a long way and while he is still prideful, he's softened in ways that matter.
"Maybe Nadine can talk to Strange, he can go over with her what needs to happen. She is a good surgeon." Not an expert to his level yet, but good enough that Jayce does have faith in her abilities. Enough to put Viktor's life in her hands. It's not as if they have many options, but still. He trusts Nadine.
He settles his cheek on top of Viktor's head now that he's essentially holding him, closing his eyes. Jayce won't deny it. He doesn't think there's anything that he wouldn't stomach in exchange for Viktor's life. But for both of their sakes he'll try to make it acceptable. "You're the love of my life, V."
Viktor says that with a catch of breath in his throat that almost sounds like a laugh. Disbelieving. Well, he does have a choice, maybe. He's just realized which choice is the right one--it took him some time, and yes, he did need to swallow a great deal of his pride, but he's ready now. There are no secrets between him and Jayce anymore, and they'll move forward from here as a unit, the way everything was always supposed to be. That's what matters the most.
He wants this to be over, one way or another. A success, so that they can continue to change the world, together, or a failure, so he doesn't have to keep bearing the knowledge that he hurts his partner every day with the possibility of losing him. He knows that if he asks Jayce, he'll say it's more than worth it, that it's the time they spent together that matters, but now Viktor is facing down the thing he feared the most--that he allowed them this indulgence and Jayce will be left to pick up the pieces. Hearing him say that Viktor is the love of his life, something he already knows, stings that much more knowing how close this might be to slipping away into oblivion.
"I know," he answers finally, nodding against Jayce's shoulder as he curls into him. Part of him wants to stay on the cold bathroom tile, wrapped up in those strong arms, but if they're going to get to work tomorrow, falling asleep here won't be conducive to that. "I will do everything I can to secure the future you imagined for us. I mean that."
Jayce wants to just scoop him up entirely into his lap and hold him. It would be easy, Viktor is so fragile, and he seems more so right now, something he knows he would hate to hear. He is not sorry about any of it. Not now facing what could happen, not even after. Jayce is not confused at all. If he loses Viktor, he will be broken, but he will not be sorry. He cleaned the blood away and Viktor had some water, so a shower can probably wait until the morning.
Jayce shakes his head and presses a kiss into his hair.
"Not the future I imagined, Viktor. A future we imagine together. And we're going to get it."
There is no other option he is willing to concede right then. Jayce refuses. He isn't at a point where he will argue over this. Viktor is going to make it. They are going to be together forever. That is the reality.
"Don't argue with me," he says firmly, and then puts his arms under Viktor and picks him right up. This is hardly new or surprising to either of them, Jayce can lift him entirely with one arm alone if he wanted to. He could throw him over his shoulder like a very light sack of flour. Usually Viktor allows this in the midst of sex, but right then, Jaye wants to cuddle him. He wants to protect him in the only way he has since he can't fix him.
"You need sleep." He is going to need as much sleep as he can get. They have to work but Viktor has to also survive.
That conviction, the passion that drew Viktor to Jayce in the first place, strikes something within him, to the point where he can almost believe this. He has to believe it, because the alternative is unthinkable for them both. He'd spent so much time resisting thoughts of a future for them, because he wasn't sure if there would be one. Now, it's all he wants, and he's going to fight for it as hard as he can.
"We have to. I won't leave you, Jayce."
The conversation is settled either way when Jayce picks him up. Viktor wants to object--wants to shout at Jayce for scooping him up without asking and he wishes it wasn't so easy to do. This situation is far removed from the bedroom, where Viktor might not be opposed to being bodily moved. Right now he feels fragile and vulnerable and despite the fact that he's made some concessions, it's hard not to feel the sting of his pride when he can do nothing but let this happen. Viktor balls a hand into a fist against Jayce's chest instinctively, as if he's about to protest, but he can't bring himself to be angry. After a moment, he softens, arms snaking around Jayce's shoulders. Viktor curls into him and lets himself be carried.
"You need sleep, too." If Jayce even can, at this point. There's going to be a lot of work to do, and they both need to be at their best. Viktor's not going to get very far without the unique brilliance of his mind. "First thing tomorrow, you'll go to the Academy."
Jayce feels confident, he truly does. It isn't even that he is forcing himself right then, sometimes he has to make himself believe, strongly enough for both of them. As they get closer he may allow himself more doubts, and he'll allow his fear later with Caitlyn or other people, but for now, he has to believe it enough that Viktor will too. And he can tell in the way Viktor looks at him that he does.
"We're the best at impossible things."
They also have so much more going on for them here that gives it a higher chance. Viktor had a much shorter clock and no real help, one of the reasons he probably failed. And yet he has a group of helpful hands here, a community that will boost him, and then magic and assisted tech. His chances are much higher here.
He knows that simply picking up Viktor will bother him, but he is relieved when Viktor relaxes against him and allows it. He did go through something terrifying, Jayce doesn't want him to have to struggle to walk back or get his breath back. He can do that tomorrow, and every day forward. For now he just needs to take care of him. It's how to keep sane. And it's a gesture between them too, that trust, the acceptance of someone taking care of Viktor and him allowing it.
Jayce sets him down on his side of the bed. The bed only has blankets somewhat pushed off from when Jayce followed him, so it isn't difficult to encourage them both back under them. Jayce immediately puts an arm around Viktor again, wanting to snuggle up with him. "We both will get sleep. We know what we have to do."
It bothers him in a way that's difficult to articulate--not necessarily the act of Jayce picking him up, but what it means for him in the future. Already he's anticipating a time not so far away where Jayce has to carry him from bedroom to bathroom, a time where he can't make it out of the apartment and to the laboratory at all. Despite the fact that he knows Jayce will care for him without question, even the possibility of being so dependent is almost too much to bear. All the more reason to move quickly, to avoid ever getting to that point.
Jayce is right. They've done the impossible before. There's no reason why they can't do it again. He tries to keep that thought in his head as they move back into their bedroom and he's set down gently on the mattress. He waits, patiently, for Jayce to join him, then shifts so they're face to face. He pulls the blankets up over the both and gets close, snuggling into the embrace offered to him, knowing that it's comfort for both of them.
"Okay. Yes." Viktor's hand slides between them, palm resting on Jayce's face, thumb stroking his cheekbone. "I believe we can do this. We have to."
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zvi
no subject
Date: 2023-01-13 01:55 am (UTC)Because Jayce agrees. He thinks that failure had everything to do with doing it on his own. And they both know the whys, but the important part is that here Viktor is making the right choice. He has let not only Jayce in but a few others, he has asked for help. Jayce puts an arm more firmly around him, hugging him to his side. He may as well offer all the comfort he can.
"I'm proud of you. I know it isn't easy."
He is letting people in. Strange, Nadine, Tony, Alucard. He has come a long way and while he is still prideful, he's softened in ways that matter.
"Maybe Nadine can talk to Strange, he can go over with her what needs to happen. She is a good surgeon." Not an expert to his level yet, but good enough that Jayce does have faith in her abilities. Enough to put Viktor's life in her hands. It's not as if they have many options, but still. He trusts Nadine.
He settles his cheek on top of Viktor's head now that he's essentially holding him, closing his eyes. Jayce won't deny it. He doesn't think there's anything that he wouldn't stomach in exchange for Viktor's life. But for both of their sakes he'll try to make it acceptable. "You're the love of my life, V."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-13 02:54 am (UTC)Viktor says that with a catch of breath in his throat that almost sounds like a laugh. Disbelieving. Well, he does have a choice, maybe. He's just realized which choice is the right one--it took him some time, and yes, he did need to swallow a great deal of his pride, but he's ready now. There are no secrets between him and Jayce anymore, and they'll move forward from here as a unit, the way everything was always supposed to be. That's what matters the most.
He wants this to be over, one way or another. A success, so that they can continue to change the world, together, or a failure, so he doesn't have to keep bearing the knowledge that he hurts his partner every day with the possibility of losing him. He knows that if he asks Jayce, he'll say it's more than worth it, that it's the time they spent together that matters, but now Viktor is facing down the thing he feared the most--that he allowed them this indulgence and Jayce will be left to pick up the pieces. Hearing him say that Viktor is the love of his life, something he already knows, stings that much more knowing how close this might be to slipping away into oblivion.
"I know," he answers finally, nodding against Jayce's shoulder as he curls into him. Part of him wants to stay on the cold bathroom tile, wrapped up in those strong arms, but if they're going to get to work tomorrow, falling asleep here won't be conducive to that. "I will do everything I can to secure the future you imagined for us. I mean that."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-13 03:42 am (UTC)Jayce wants to just scoop him up entirely into his lap and hold him. It would be easy, Viktor is so fragile, and he seems more so right now, something he knows he would hate to hear. He is not sorry about any of it. Not now facing what could happen, not even after. Jayce is not confused at all. If he loses Viktor, he will be broken, but he will not be sorry. He cleaned the blood away and Viktor had some water, so a shower can probably wait until the morning.
Jayce shakes his head and presses a kiss into his hair.
"Not the future I imagined, Viktor. A future we imagine together. And we're going to get it."
There is no other option he is willing to concede right then. Jayce refuses. He isn't at a point where he will argue over this. Viktor is going to make it. They are going to be together forever. That is the reality.
"Don't argue with me," he says firmly, and then puts his arms under Viktor and picks him right up. This is hardly new or surprising to either of them, Jayce can lift him entirely with one arm alone if he wanted to. He could throw him over his shoulder like a very light sack of flour. Usually Viktor allows this in the midst of sex, but right then, Jaye wants to cuddle him. He wants to protect him in the only way he has since he can't fix him.
"You need sleep." He is going to need as much sleep as he can get. They have to work but Viktor has to also survive.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-13 05:45 am (UTC)"We have to. I won't leave you, Jayce."
The conversation is settled either way when Jayce picks him up. Viktor wants to object--wants to shout at Jayce for scooping him up without asking and he wishes it wasn't so easy to do. This situation is far removed from the bedroom, where Viktor might not be opposed to being bodily moved. Right now he feels fragile and vulnerable and despite the fact that he's made some concessions, it's hard not to feel the sting of his pride when he can do nothing but let this happen. Viktor balls a hand into a fist against Jayce's chest instinctively, as if he's about to protest, but he can't bring himself to be angry. After a moment, he softens, arms snaking around Jayce's shoulders. Viktor curls into him and lets himself be carried.
"You need sleep, too." If Jayce even can, at this point. There's going to be a lot of work to do, and they both need to be at their best. Viktor's not going to get very far without the unique brilliance of his mind. "First thing tomorrow, you'll go to the Academy."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-13 08:35 pm (UTC)"We're the best at impossible things."
They also have so much more going on for them here that gives it a higher chance. Viktor had a much shorter clock and no real help, one of the reasons he probably failed. And yet he has a group of helpful hands here, a community that will boost him, and then magic and assisted tech. His chances are much higher here.
He knows that simply picking up Viktor will bother him, but he is relieved when Viktor relaxes against him and allows it. He did go through something terrifying, Jayce doesn't want him to have to struggle to walk back or get his breath back. He can do that tomorrow, and every day forward. For now he just needs to take care of him. It's how to keep sane. And it's a gesture between them too, that trust, the acceptance of someone taking care of Viktor and him allowing it.
Jayce sets him down on his side of the bed. The bed only has blankets somewhat pushed off from when Jayce followed him, so it isn't difficult to encourage them both back under them. Jayce immediately puts an arm around Viktor again, wanting to snuggle up with him. "We both will get sleep. We know what we have to do."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-14 12:22 am (UTC)Jayce is right. They've done the impossible before. There's no reason why they can't do it again. He tries to keep that thought in his head as they move back into their bedroom and he's set down gently on the mattress. He waits, patiently, for Jayce to join him, then shifts so they're face to face. He pulls the blankets up over the both and gets close, snuggling into the embrace offered to him, knowing that it's comfort for both of them.
"Okay. Yes." Viktor's hand slides between them, palm resting on Jayce's face, thumb stroking his cheekbone. "I believe we can do this. We have to."
There is simply no other choice.