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Viktor's exceptional work with delicate engineering is one of the reasons Jayce admires his hands so much. Long, delicate, skilled, whereas Jayce's will always be a little rough and thick in comparison. He smiles and shakes his head. "An assertion from one of the few people you do like has to count for something." To be fair, he knows that his memories of his father are special, and it doesn't mean that he would be entirely correct about who he was in reality. Jayce's feelings are so strong, always. He's never been good at rational thought surrounding them.
Honestly, he's always liked being special to Viktor. He likes being the person he wants to be around, that he tolerates the most. Jayce likes people, on the whole, he can deal with crowds and strangers and it is generally easy for him, although sometimes he gets tired and comes here or to the lab to decompress. Recently the forge was the only place he could do that because the lab just made him think of Viktor's illness and how much their backs were up against the wall. He may be better with others, but it doesn't mean they know him. He would say only Viktor and Caitlyn know him. Enough to know when he wasn't acting like himself recently.
It's a kind sentiment and he appreciates that Viktor is trying for him, the opposite of sentimental ordinarily. Jayce doesn't know if he could be called good anymore, only that he wants to be. But sometimes that isn't enough. "Maybe I don't know if you would like him, but I know he would've liked you. Probably not as much as my mother though, she's a big fan."
Ximena is quiet and on the shy side, but she knows a lot about her son's life, she just tends to stay in the background. But it means she observes more than it seems. She knows Jayce was in a very dark place when Viktor stepped in and then he was happy, passionately talking about their work and partnership. Any mother would appreciate that switch and be grateful for the person who did it. The only reason she doesn't mother Viktor too is that Jayce gently told her his friend was very private and probably wouldn't like it.
Jayce almost asks about Viktor's parents, but like usual he hesitates, so resistant to press him even when dying of curiosity. "Okay, so lab. Apartment. Forge. What other parts do you have?" Kind of dancing around 'show me your pet already.'
Honestly, he's always liked being special to Viktor. He likes being the person he wants to be around, that he tolerates the most. Jayce likes people, on the whole, he can deal with crowds and strangers and it is generally easy for him, although sometimes he gets tired and comes here or to the lab to decompress. Recently the forge was the only place he could do that because the lab just made him think of Viktor's illness and how much their backs were up against the wall. He may be better with others, but it doesn't mean they know him. He would say only Viktor and Caitlyn know him. Enough to know when he wasn't acting like himself recently.
It's a kind sentiment and he appreciates that Viktor is trying for him, the opposite of sentimental ordinarily. Jayce doesn't know if he could be called good anymore, only that he wants to be. But sometimes that isn't enough. "Maybe I don't know if you would like him, but I know he would've liked you. Probably not as much as my mother though, she's a big fan."
Ximena is quiet and on the shy side, but she knows a lot about her son's life, she just tends to stay in the background. But it means she observes more than it seems. She knows Jayce was in a very dark place when Viktor stepped in and then he was happy, passionately talking about their work and partnership. Any mother would appreciate that switch and be grateful for the person who did it. The only reason she doesn't mother Viktor too is that Jayce gently told her his friend was very private and probably wouldn't like it.
Jayce almost asks about Viktor's parents, but like usual he hesitates, so resistant to press him even when dying of curiosity. "Okay, so lab. Apartment. Forge. What other parts do you have?" Kind of dancing around 'show me your pet already.'
Edited 2022-04-06 02:05 (UTC)
There’s an empty space here, one that he imagines Jayce might like him to fill with similar speculation about his own parents, but what is there to say, really? Jayce knows the broad strokes—they were artisans, they wanted better for their brilliant, lonely son, and then they were gone before they could see him go topside to the Academy. Nothing he particularly wants to dwell on. They've both been over it, so he says nothing, instead opting to move back around the worktable, to Jayce.
“No, I believe you. From everything you’ve told me, he seemed like a good man.”
It’s an interesting conversational detour regardless, one that gives Viktor a glimpse into Jayce’s deeper feelings about the whole situation, and the circumstances back home. Again, he thinks he should ask—about the weapon, about what could have possibly happened with the Hexcore, about what went on in those missing two days that apparently has them both so distraught—but the moment is fleeing. Jayce finishes filling in the forge and talking about his father and is content to move on to the next order of business. Viktor hasn’t, at least, forgotten his tacit promise.
“I have a study—much nicer than anything I had back at the Academy.” More like Heimerdinger’s office than the shared space of teaching assistants, perhaps hinting at some of Viktor’s past aspirations, had Hextech not come into play. He thinks for a moment, as if trying to remember everything else he’s built. “Oh, the overlook. You know, above the water treatment facility.” Of course, he doesn’t know that’s also the last place Jayce saw him. “There’s a nice view of the city from there. The Undercity, i mean.”
That seems like a nice compromise—he can bring Rio there, without having to take Jayce down to the ravines and caves that run beneath.
“No, I believe you. From everything you’ve told me, he seemed like a good man.”
It’s an interesting conversational detour regardless, one that gives Viktor a glimpse into Jayce’s deeper feelings about the whole situation, and the circumstances back home. Again, he thinks he should ask—about the weapon, about what could have possibly happened with the Hexcore, about what went on in those missing two days that apparently has them both so distraught—but the moment is fleeing. Jayce finishes filling in the forge and talking about his father and is content to move on to the next order of business. Viktor hasn’t, at least, forgotten his tacit promise.
“I have a study—much nicer than anything I had back at the Academy.” More like Heimerdinger’s office than the shared space of teaching assistants, perhaps hinting at some of Viktor’s past aspirations, had Hextech not come into play. He thinks for a moment, as if trying to remember everything else he’s built. “Oh, the overlook. You know, above the water treatment facility.” Of course, he doesn’t know that’s also the last place Jayce saw him. “There’s a nice view of the city from there. The Undercity, i mean.”
That seems like a nice compromise—he can bring Rio there, without having to take Jayce down to the ravines and caves that run beneath.
Edited 2022-04-07 04:23 (UTC)
It is difficult for Jayce to think right now that his father would be proud. Of Hextech, absolutely. Of their hopes and dreams and the work they put into it, yes. He always cared that Jayce never gets lazy, never forget where he came from and the value of a hard day's work, and that is something he does still carry to now. But Jayce is not proud of himself right now let alone able to think his father would be. He knows eventually this conversation will have to happen, but it is not something he is ready for. The very thought of it makes him nauseated right now, as they both know Jayce can be when stressed or overwhelmed. Some day.
He knows Viktor well enough to know he is aware they are intentionally not talking about something important. All he can be is grateful that it isn't time to press that particular button yet. Jayce wishes he knew why he was supposed to destroy the Hexcore so he could explain, but that will have to stay a mystery.
"Oh good, I'd love to see what the office you'd make for yourself would look like." It isn't hot in here now but it's still beautiful and cozy, the fire from the forge bright enough to keep light and not need them to squint to see one another. It's nice to think of Viktor creating areas for himself, filling them with his choices, what he wants. Jayce will take anything he can get to observe details about his friend and what he values.
Jayce does not mention that the overlook was the last place they spoke, when Viktor nearly jumped and they had a heartfelt if painful conversation, he just nods. "Of course I know it. It's where you go to think." Thus where Jayce knew to find him in the first place, when he wasn't in the lab or anywhere else. "Like this place is for me." Although Jayce would say it is more a place for him to feel than it is for him to think, but same difference in the end.
"Show me. I haven't decided what else to add." He already thinks maybe the council room, not because he wants to be there, but it might be good to have in case they need to have bigger conversations with other people. A conference room of sorts.
He knows Viktor well enough to know he is aware they are intentionally not talking about something important. All he can be is grateful that it isn't time to press that particular button yet. Jayce wishes he knew why he was supposed to destroy the Hexcore so he could explain, but that will have to stay a mystery.
"Oh good, I'd love to see what the office you'd make for yourself would look like." It isn't hot in here now but it's still beautiful and cozy, the fire from the forge bright enough to keep light and not need them to squint to see one another. It's nice to think of Viktor creating areas for himself, filling them with his choices, what he wants. Jayce will take anything he can get to observe details about his friend and what he values.
Jayce does not mention that the overlook was the last place they spoke, when Viktor nearly jumped and they had a heartfelt if painful conversation, he just nods. "Of course I know it. It's where you go to think." Thus where Jayce knew to find him in the first place, when he wasn't in the lab or anywhere else. "Like this place is for me." Although Jayce would say it is more a place for him to feel than it is for him to think, but same difference in the end.
"Show me. I haven't decided what else to add." He already thinks maybe the council room, not because he wants to be there, but it might be good to have in case they need to have bigger conversations with other people. A conference room of sorts.
"It isn't as though there's a deadline to add more." Their domains are meant to change and evolve almost indefinitely--he's sure that Jayce will come up with plenty more to, but he knows what this is really about. "Back to the lift, then."
There's no real getting around the whole "pet" situation--it's written all over Jayce's face, and by now he's run out of excuses, so he tries to tell himself that everything will be fine and there's no reason to worry. He should be proud of the things that he's made here, just as he's enjoyed watching Jayce fill in his own spaces, and he gives the forge one last look as they head back out into the hallway and step into the elevator. As it moves, Viktor does a little rearranging in his own mind. Jayce seems the most interested in his study, so that's where they'll go.
Maybe, in another lifetime, Viktor makes his own breakthrough and rises through the ranks of the Academy until he holds some position of power there. A real professor, or a dean of one of the various disciplines taught there, maybe. Someone with enough sway to remove the logistical barriers that keep most Zaunites out, fostering a new generation of innovators who aren't held back by where they came from, who do good work and make sure the Undercity reaps the benefits. A glimpse, perhaps, into what Viktor may have imagined for himself if not for Hextech.
The room is sunny thanks to the vaulted windows, and it's lined with bookshelves and worktables full of little clockwork projects, things Viktor tinkers with to keep his hands busy. It's more inviting than the lab proper, with a certain lived-in quality and various creature comforts: house plants, a coffee pot, plush furniture. And, of course, Rio, curled up near one of the chairs, taking up a not insubstantial amount of floor space. Despite the fact that Viktor literally conjured her here, she seems to act of her own accord, looking up to see what's happening as they enter. Viktor, for his part, heads to her immediately, reaching out to pet her not unlike one would a dog--if said dog was very large and amphibious. He looks back at Jayce, offering an upward quirk of his mouth, a little half-smile.
"Have you ever seen a waverider before?"
There's no real getting around the whole "pet" situation--it's written all over Jayce's face, and by now he's run out of excuses, so he tries to tell himself that everything will be fine and there's no reason to worry. He should be proud of the things that he's made here, just as he's enjoyed watching Jayce fill in his own spaces, and he gives the forge one last look as they head back out into the hallway and step into the elevator. As it moves, Viktor does a little rearranging in his own mind. Jayce seems the most interested in his study, so that's where they'll go.
Maybe, in another lifetime, Viktor makes his own breakthrough and rises through the ranks of the Academy until he holds some position of power there. A real professor, or a dean of one of the various disciplines taught there, maybe. Someone with enough sway to remove the logistical barriers that keep most Zaunites out, fostering a new generation of innovators who aren't held back by where they came from, who do good work and make sure the Undercity reaps the benefits. A glimpse, perhaps, into what Viktor may have imagined for himself if not for Hextech.
The room is sunny thanks to the vaulted windows, and it's lined with bookshelves and worktables full of little clockwork projects, things Viktor tinkers with to keep his hands busy. It's more inviting than the lab proper, with a certain lived-in quality and various creature comforts: house plants, a coffee pot, plush furniture. And, of course, Rio, curled up near one of the chairs, taking up a not insubstantial amount of floor space. Despite the fact that Viktor literally conjured her here, she seems to act of her own accord, looking up to see what's happening as they enter. Viktor, for his part, heads to her immediately, reaching out to pet her not unlike one would a dog--if said dog was very large and amphibious. He looks back at Jayce, offering an upward quirk of his mouth, a little half-smile.
"Have you ever seen a waverider before?"
Jayce joins him on the lift and does know that there's no time limit, which is why he wants to consider the other things he'll add before creating them. He has some more obscure ideas that take more focus, especially if he's still making heat mistakes. And really, he just wants to learn more about Viktor's space and new pet. He genuinely has no idea what to expect since Viktor's uncertainty is new to him.
It is fascinating to step into Viktor's study, the one that he would have chosen for himself given the chance. Whereas Jayce is creating something that already existed, the sentimental person he is, Viktor had vision for something he wanted. He said his life's ambition was not to be the professor's assistant, and Jayce doesn't know what his trajectory would've been if not for Hextech. He hopes one that would be fulfilling with or without him.
Jayce is distracted by hungrily looking around, taking all the details he finds interesting and open about his partner, and then his searching eyes drop on Rio. And he is startled but fascinated. The funny thing is Viktor's made up stories about the Undercity from time to time, to poke at Jayce and he knows it, but this seems more surprising than any of that. In typical Jayce form though, it only draws him close to the creature, eyebrows furrowing as he takes it in.
Oh there's a name for it, one he's never heard before. A waverider. Jayce follows Viktor, drawn close, and offers out a hand to her to sniff. He has no idea if you should be treating a waverider like a dog, as if all animals adjust to people the same way, but he still is not assuming he can just pet her like Viktor.
"No, I never have." He's in awe. "Hi there, you're adorable." Jayce loves animals, even ones he couldn't have expected. "You had one of these as a pet in the Undercity?"
It is fascinating to step into Viktor's study, the one that he would have chosen for himself given the chance. Whereas Jayce is creating something that already existed, the sentimental person he is, Viktor had vision for something he wanted. He said his life's ambition was not to be the professor's assistant, and Jayce doesn't know what his trajectory would've been if not for Hextech. He hopes one that would be fulfilling with or without him.
Jayce is distracted by hungrily looking around, taking all the details he finds interesting and open about his partner, and then his searching eyes drop on Rio. And he is startled but fascinated. The funny thing is Viktor's made up stories about the Undercity from time to time, to poke at Jayce and he knows it, but this seems more surprising than any of that. In typical Jayce form though, it only draws him close to the creature, eyebrows furrowing as he takes it in.
Oh there's a name for it, one he's never heard before. A waverider. Jayce follows Viktor, drawn close, and offers out a hand to her to sniff. He has no idea if you should be treating a waverider like a dog, as if all animals adjust to people the same way, but he still is not assuming he can just pet her like Viktor.
"No, I never have." He's in awe. "Hi there, you're adorable." Jayce loves animals, even ones he couldn't have expected. "You had one of these as a pet in the Undercity?"
Now that it's all playing out in front of him, Viktor isn't sure what he was anxious about in the first place. Of course Jayce is thrilled with this turn of events, though he does not some hesitation, like he's asking permission. He holds out his hand and Rio leans in to meet it, nudging his palm experimentally, as if feeling him out. Viktor, kneeled down beside the creature, palm splayed out on her head, smiles a little.
"Not a pet, exactly."
It feels like the wrong word to use, given the unique circumstances involved (and also the fact that Rio did not, like, live in his house). Trying to explain that is also too much, so he decides to keep things simple, for now.
"A childhood companion, of sorts. Her name is Rio." Viktor nods to a vase nearby, filled with trumpet-shaped purple flowers, glowing softly--also clearly from the Undercity. "You can feed her one of those, if you like."
He will not warn about the three-pronged, incredibly slimy tongue. Some things you just need to experience for yourself.
"Not a pet, exactly."
It feels like the wrong word to use, given the unique circumstances involved (and also the fact that Rio did not, like, live in his house). Trying to explain that is also too much, so he decides to keep things simple, for now.
"A childhood companion, of sorts. Her name is Rio." Viktor nods to a vase nearby, filled with trumpet-shaped purple flowers, glowing softly--also clearly from the Undercity. "You can feed her one of those, if you like."
He will not warn about the three-pronged, incredibly slimy tongue. Some things you just need to experience for yourself.
Oh that is not what he expected the texture of Rio to be but it's so interesting and he smiles, petting her head gently. Jayce assumes with Viktor naming the type of beast that it's something that lives in the Undercity, or possibly in the water surrounding it since it seems amphibian-adjacent. So she's unusual to him but not in general.
"Oh I'm sad now you couldn't bring her up to Piltover, she's sweet." Jayce assumes that's why, not that any other reason could have changed that. But it is reality that there's no way one of these could be in an assistant's room or stay with him. That would have gone over badly. He immediately grabs one of the flowers.
And yes, some things you need to experience for yourself, her tongue curls out and takes the flower from him, leaving saliva behind and Jayce is startled at first, but much like child Viktor once upon a time, he laughs. "Oh boy, we're going to need to have a towel ready for visitors if she gets licking." Jayce wipes it off on his otherwise perfect Talis clothes but it doesn't last there, one of the things about fixing the way you look making it easy.
"How did you meet her?" Jayce knows to tread a little carefully with Viktor's discomfort with talking about his childhood, but it's a carefully innucuous start.
"Oh I'm sad now you couldn't bring her up to Piltover, she's sweet." Jayce assumes that's why, not that any other reason could have changed that. But it is reality that there's no way one of these could be in an assistant's room or stay with him. That would have gone over badly. He immediately grabs one of the flowers.
And yes, some things you need to experience for yourself, her tongue curls out and takes the flower from him, leaving saliva behind and Jayce is startled at first, but much like child Viktor once upon a time, he laughs. "Oh boy, we're going to need to have a towel ready for visitors if she gets licking." Jayce wipes it off on his otherwise perfect Talis clothes but it doesn't last there, one of the things about fixing the way you look making it easy.
"How did you meet her?" Jayce knows to tread a little carefully with Viktor's discomfort with talking about his childhood, but it's a carefully innucuous start.
Viktor straightens, leaning against the closest desk and watching all of this with poorly-disguised amusement. There is, however, something sad about his little smile, especially when Jayce assumes that he just left Rio in Zaun when he came to the Academy. He did, technically, but there were, obviously, extenuating circumstances.
"No, I don't think this would have gone over well at the Academy, but I knew her a long time ago."
He hopes that the past tense and the emphasis on childhood will help Jayce fill in the blanks. Rio simply wasn't around for Viktor to bring her along. At the suggestion of a towel, he shrugs--clearly he finds it unnecessary, especially in a place like this where people can just will themselves clean, like Jayce is doing now. Rio gives a little trill, clearly pleased by this development, then bumps her head into Jayce's side, apparently in approval.
"There was this, ehn. Cave system. At the base of the wall, where my overlook is. I used to play there as a child. That's where she was."
"No, I don't think this would have gone over well at the Academy, but I knew her a long time ago."
He hopes that the past tense and the emphasis on childhood will help Jayce fill in the blanks. Rio simply wasn't around for Viktor to bring her along. At the suggestion of a towel, he shrugs--clearly he finds it unnecessary, especially in a place like this where people can just will themselves clean, like Jayce is doing now. Rio gives a little trill, clearly pleased by this development, then bumps her head into Jayce's side, apparently in approval.
"There was this, ehn. Cave system. At the base of the wall, where my overlook is. I used to play there as a child. That's where she was."
"Oh, I see." If this was a childhood friend, that makes sense, although Jayce has no idea what the life expectancy is. That's too bad, but it's good that Viktor can have a version of her here. It may not be entirely real, but it's as real as everything else in here. She feels real, and Viktor is clearly not consciously controlling her. It's fascinating, all things considered.
Jayce laughs when she bumps up against him and beams at Viktor, pointing at her obvious affection. She likes him, success! Yes he counts it as a win when figments of the imagination in this magical space like him too. He looks forward to sharing their space with her, she's far less annoying already than Heimerdinger's yappy little creature.
Then Viktor is opening up a little, explaining where he met her, and Jayce is hungry for any crumbs of his past. "Is that why you like going up there to think?" It reminds him of where he came from. Jayce wondered why that place in particular appealed to him. "I think we would've gotten along as kids too. I'm not all that different." Obviously he is in a few ways! But some elements will always be the same.
Jayce laughs when she bumps up against him and beams at Viktor, pointing at her obvious affection. She likes him, success! Yes he counts it as a win when figments of the imagination in this magical space like him too. He looks forward to sharing their space with her, she's far less annoying already than Heimerdinger's yappy little creature.
Then Viktor is opening up a little, explaining where he met her, and Jayce is hungry for any crumbs of his past. "Is that why you like going up there to think?" It reminds him of where he came from. Jayce wondered why that place in particular appealed to him. "I think we would've gotten along as kids too. I'm not all that different." Obviously he is in a few ways! But some elements will always be the same.
Viktor, too, is having something of a Time processing the fact that he created a living being--something from his past--that thinks and behaves on its own. It's a lot to take in, but it's also heartening, especially when he considers the Hexcore. That had been an adaptable device, and it's likely that if he brings it here, it will act as it would in the real world without Viktor needing to guide it.
Of course Jayce is pleased that Rio seems to like him, but why wouldn't she? He just fed her. Viktor laughs and shakes his head a little, content to watch.
"One of the reasons," he says, finally. "It's also as close as we would get to Piltover, as children. I didn't venture up into the wall until I was a little older. That's where I met Heimerdinger."
He can vividly imagine Jayce as a child, which certainly says something, though he imagines the same is true of himself. It may not be hard to guess that Viktor didn't have many friends--the other children unable to keep up with him mentally, just as he was unable to keep up with them physically. The thought elicits a small smile, though there's something a little bittersweet about it.
"Perhaps. I was, uh. Something of a loner." As evidenced by the fact that he spent his time crawling around in a cave making friends with a giant pink lizard. "You might have scared me off."
Of course Jayce is pleased that Rio seems to like him, but why wouldn't she? He just fed her. Viktor laughs and shakes his head a little, content to watch.
"One of the reasons," he says, finally. "It's also as close as we would get to Piltover, as children. I didn't venture up into the wall until I was a little older. That's where I met Heimerdinger."
He can vividly imagine Jayce as a child, which certainly says something, though he imagines the same is true of himself. It may not be hard to guess that Viktor didn't have many friends--the other children unable to keep up with him mentally, just as he was unable to keep up with them physically. The thought elicits a small smile, though there's something a little bittersweet about it.
"Perhaps. I was, uh. Something of a loner." As evidenced by the fact that he spent his time crawling around in a cave making friends with a giant pink lizard. "You might have scared me off."
Jayce imagines Viktor and other Undercity kids, looking up at Piltover and it seeming so close and yet so far. These are the kind of details he really took for granted, being from there, not knowing the full scope of the other side. Viktor got out because he had a sponsor, a very powerful one with Heimerdinger being the head of the council. And that's a very low possibility for anyone else.
As usual his heart hearts thinking about their mentor. He doesn't regret the things that he said, he believed every one of them, but he regrets how it went down. How it had to go down. And since he'll never see him again, there will never be a backup conversation, either for them to apologize or just try to see one another's point of view. Viktor and Jayce were both cared for by him, in his own detached way. "I can see how you would draw him in."
Heimerdinger likes to shape minds but he also likes to control them, in Jayce's opinion. Uncharitable, probably, but he has mixed feelings.
"I would have been annoyingly persistent." Jayce smiles, petting Rio. He can imagine young him following after Viktor, trying to get his attention. "I didn't have any friends." People think that Jayce being the way he is, confident and friendly, means he was surrounded by admirers even before Hextech. But it wasn't the case. He was too smart, just like Viktor. "Nobody has ever appreciated my rock collection." He smiles wryly.
As usual his heart hearts thinking about their mentor. He doesn't regret the things that he said, he believed every one of them, but he regrets how it went down. How it had to go down. And since he'll never see him again, there will never be a backup conversation, either for them to apologize or just try to see one another's point of view. Viktor and Jayce were both cared for by him, in his own detached way. "I can see how you would draw him in."
Heimerdinger likes to shape minds but he also likes to control them, in Jayce's opinion. Uncharitable, probably, but he has mixed feelings.
"I would have been annoyingly persistent." Jayce smiles, petting Rio. He can imagine young him following after Viktor, trying to get his attention. "I didn't have any friends." People think that Jayce being the way he is, confident and friendly, means he was surrounded by admirers even before Hextech. But it wasn't the case. He was too smart, just like Viktor. "Nobody has ever appreciated my rock collection." He smiles wryly.
"Well, I was also trespassing."
A shrug. They both know Viktor has never been one to follow the rules, if he thinks the rules are wrong. Perhaps, venturing up to Piltover had been one of those instances. He can't deny it changed his life, so he'd probably do it all over again, if given the chance.
The thought of a young Jayce without any friends is slightly surprising to him, but he supposes it makes sense. For a moment, he looks a little sad, thinking of them both as lonely kids, but then Jayce mentions a childhood fixation and he has to admit that yes, maybe they would have been friends after all.
"Okay. I would have appreciated your rock collection. That's fair."
A shrug. They both know Viktor has never been one to follow the rules, if he thinks the rules are wrong. Perhaps, venturing up to Piltover had been one of those instances. He can't deny it changed his life, so he'd probably do it all over again, if given the chance.
The thought of a young Jayce without any friends is slightly surprising to him, but he supposes it makes sense. For a moment, he looks a little sad, thinking of them both as lonely kids, but then Jayce mentions a childhood fixation and he has to admit that yes, maybe they would have been friends after all.
"Okay. I would have appreciated your rock collection. That's fair."
"A rebel from the start. He probably shouldn't have been surprised when we made trouble." He sounds fond, again, there are a lot of mixed feelings he has for their mentor. But Heimerdinger did favor students who were bold and brilliant, who pushed the envelope and didn't always follow the rules. He never would've expected that pushing Viktor and Jayce together, even briefly, would have led down the path it did.
And Jayce is grateful, how else would they have met? They'd been technically in the same place for years and never crossed each other's path. Jayce was very absorbed in his illegal study, after all. He let no one in on it, but he was always the top of his class, he managed to juggle all of his studies well. It didn't exactly afford himself time to make friends. Story of his life. But it was all a choice. His work over his life.
It's no wonder he ended up really bad at balancing the two when he suddenly had a life outside of science. No practice.
"Rock and crystals." Jayce chuckles. "I was in the forge early, already making tools, so I would've wooed you with them." His father was serious about getting him skilled at tool making as a child, and he appreciates that a lot of it is natural to him now. But it was another way that made him different from other kids.
And Jayce is grateful, how else would they have met? They'd been technically in the same place for years and never crossed each other's path. Jayce was very absorbed in his illegal study, after all. He let no one in on it, but he was always the top of his class, he managed to juggle all of his studies well. It didn't exactly afford himself time to make friends. Story of his life. But it was all a choice. His work over his life.
It's no wonder he ended up really bad at balancing the two when he suddenly had a life outside of science. No practice.
"Rock and crystals." Jayce chuckles. "I was in the forge early, already making tools, so I would've wooed you with them." His father was serious about getting him skilled at tool making as a child, and he appreciates that a lot of it is natural to him now. But it was another way that made him different from other kids.
"I was an excellent assistant. I just didn't want to be one for longer than I had to."
It also (fortunately? Unfortunately?) helped that Heimerdinger was largely oblivious to a lot of the things going on right under his nose. Running off with Jayce to complete Hextech was, perhaps, a very dramatic way of submitting a resignation letter, but, given the chance, he would do it all over again. Just...perhaps with less of a time limit. He'd been aware of Jayce before that fateful assignment, and finds it somewhat surprisingly that they'd never crossed paths, in the few years they overlapped at the Academy, in the end he supposes he's glad it all played out the way it did. They might have been caught, if Viktor had been in on the research much earlier.
Hearing about Jayce as a child is endearing, of course. It makes him want to share a little more, in turn.
"How old? I thought Piltover had laws against that sort of thing."
Viktor pulls up a stool, reaching over for something on the workbench. When his hands emerge from behind a pile of books and other gadgets, they're holding a small clockwork boat (though, perhaps large enough for a child), which he hands, gently, to Jayce.
"These are the kinds of projects I worked on. You probably would have liked them."
It also (fortunately? Unfortunately?) helped that Heimerdinger was largely oblivious to a lot of the things going on right under his nose. Running off with Jayce to complete Hextech was, perhaps, a very dramatic way of submitting a resignation letter, but, given the chance, he would do it all over again. Just...perhaps with less of a time limit. He'd been aware of Jayce before that fateful assignment, and finds it somewhat surprisingly that they'd never crossed paths, in the few years they overlapped at the Academy, in the end he supposes he's glad it all played out the way it did. They might have been caught, if Viktor had been in on the research much earlier.
Hearing about Jayce as a child is endearing, of course. It makes him want to share a little more, in turn.
"How old? I thought Piltover had laws against that sort of thing."
Viktor pulls up a stool, reaching over for something on the workbench. When his hands emerge from behind a pile of books and other gadgets, they're holding a small clockwork boat (though, perhaps large enough for a child), which he hands, gently, to Jayce.
"These are the kinds of projects I worked on. You probably would have liked them."
"Of course you were an excellent assistant, you're excellent at everything you do." Viktor is a literal genius, there is no end to what he's capable of. Jayce may be biased but he also thinks it's pretty obviously true. Jayce knew generally that Heimerdinger had an assistant, but he didn't know anything about him. When Heimerdinger visited him, he didn't bring anything other than his pet along with him. Jayce was very absorbed in his own life and work.
Jayce shrugs. "Technically they do, but it's a family business. Training your own kid young is just smart." Kids take in tons of information and they learn well, so by the time Jayce was older, it's all become second nature. He isn't at all sorry about it, he loves that he knows the trade. "I was already interested. I was playing with hammers as far back as I can remember."
Jayce's eyes widen and he takes the adorable clockwork boat, smiling as he looked it over. The cranks and wheels could turn, he sees that, perfect for putting into the water. "I would have. You were already inventing things even then." His mind is so beautiful it actually hurts Jayce to think about it sometimes.
"Unfortunately, neither of us would have been where we were when we met if we always had each other." They wouldn't have been lonely. Maybe they would have come up with incredible things earlier, but so much of who they are is also defined by what they didn't have. Their drive to be better, to prove themselves. Having a childhood soulmate would have changed that. "But I like the idea anyway."
Jayce shrugs. "Technically they do, but it's a family business. Training your own kid young is just smart." Kids take in tons of information and they learn well, so by the time Jayce was older, it's all become second nature. He isn't at all sorry about it, he loves that he knows the trade. "I was already interested. I was playing with hammers as far back as I can remember."
Jayce's eyes widen and he takes the adorable clockwork boat, smiling as he looked it over. The cranks and wheels could turn, he sees that, perfect for putting into the water. "I would have. You were already inventing things even then." His mind is so beautiful it actually hurts Jayce to think about it sometimes.
"Unfortunately, neither of us would have been where we were when we met if we always had each other." They wouldn't have been lonely. Maybe they would have come up with incredible things earlier, but so much of who they are is also defined by what they didn't have. Their drive to be better, to prove themselves. Having a childhood soulmate would have changed that. "But I like the idea anyway."
"What did I tell you about flattery?"
But, for all Viktor is not an egoist, he's fairly self-assured when it comes to his own abilities. He has to be, when he also has to deal with significant limitations--not that he's ever let that stop him. There's a joke to be made here, about child labor in Zaun, but he lets it go. Not the time or place. Instead, he rests his chin in his palm and listens to Jayce talk about his formative experiences. When he takes the boat, Viktor's expression becomes a little fond.
"Clockwork toys made of scrap metal." Impressive for a ten year old, maybe. "It did work, after a few iterations."
Maybe, meeting Jayce as a child, they could have worked on these things together. The possibilities of what they might have accomplished seems endless, and almost pointless to dwell on, considering he isn't even sure whether or not they'd get along, not having grown into their adult personalities yet--but it's a pleasant thought exercise, regardless.
"Maybe we would have been expelled together." Maybe that would have been more bearable, for Jayce.
But, for all Viktor is not an egoist, he's fairly self-assured when it comes to his own abilities. He has to be, when he also has to deal with significant limitations--not that he's ever let that stop him. There's a joke to be made here, about child labor in Zaun, but he lets it go. Not the time or place. Instead, he rests his chin in his palm and listens to Jayce talk about his formative experiences. When he takes the boat, Viktor's expression becomes a little fond.
"Clockwork toys made of scrap metal." Impressive for a ten year old, maybe. "It did work, after a few iterations."
Maybe, meeting Jayce as a child, they could have worked on these things together. The possibilities of what they might have accomplished seems endless, and almost pointless to dwell on, considering he isn't even sure whether or not they'd get along, not having grown into their adult personalities yet--but it's a pleasant thought exercise, regardless.
"Maybe we would have been expelled together." Maybe that would have been more bearable, for Jayce.
"It's not flattery, it's the truth. Try being less competent if you don't want to hear it."
Jayce rolls his eyes at him in a playful way, he's going to keep flattering him because he can and he always means it. Jayce is not actually prone to giving a lot of compliments that aren't legitimately what he thinks. He had to try that out a little bit while sucking up to the Council and while he found he's pretty good at it when he needs to be, he doesn't like it. Both Viktor and Caitlyn get annoyed when he showers them with praise though, they'll have to live with it.
"If you think I was protective of your reputation when we were strangers, imagine already having been my friend." Jayce immediately tried to refuse Viktor's offer to sneak into Heimerdinger's office to continue their illegal experiments. He couldn't justify hurting someone else's future like that. After thinking of that though, Jayce's eyes brighten and he grins.
"Oh I have an idea." He pets Rio one more time, unsure if she'll be following them from now, although she's welcome. Jayce sets the boat down and reaches out to tug on Viktor's sleeve. "Come on." He goes back to the lift, waiting for Viktor to join him, and in the process of it moving, he creates another floor for them to stop on, not straight to the forge. It takes him some focus, he closes his eyes to get it right, since the forge going cold was difficult for him to make sense of. This time he'll be on top of it.
Jayce opens a door to a familiar hall, where Viktor once said this is not my room, and he opens Heimerdinger's door to show the lab exactly as it was on that special night for them. It's glowing beautiful blue and Jayce winks at Viktor before intentionally stepping inside and floating up into the ceiling.
Jayce rolls his eyes at him in a playful way, he's going to keep flattering him because he can and he always means it. Jayce is not actually prone to giving a lot of compliments that aren't legitimately what he thinks. He had to try that out a little bit while sucking up to the Council and while he found he's pretty good at it when he needs to be, he doesn't like it. Both Viktor and Caitlyn get annoyed when he showers them with praise though, they'll have to live with it.
"If you think I was protective of your reputation when we were strangers, imagine already having been my friend." Jayce immediately tried to refuse Viktor's offer to sneak into Heimerdinger's office to continue their illegal experiments. He couldn't justify hurting someone else's future like that. After thinking of that though, Jayce's eyes brighten and he grins.
"Oh I have an idea." He pets Rio one more time, unsure if she'll be following them from now, although she's welcome. Jayce sets the boat down and reaches out to tug on Viktor's sleeve. "Come on." He goes back to the lift, waiting for Viktor to join him, and in the process of it moving, he creates another floor for them to stop on, not straight to the forge. It takes him some focus, he closes his eyes to get it right, since the forge going cold was difficult for him to make sense of. This time he'll be on top of it.
Jayce opens a door to a familiar hall, where Viktor once said this is not my room, and he opens Heimerdinger's door to show the lab exactly as it was on that special night for them. It's glowing beautiful blue and Jayce winks at Viktor before intentionally stepping inside and floating up into the ceiling.
(From here).
[Viktor can't really say he doesn't deserve this. Jayce vanishes and the memory dissolves around them, leaving him with little but a pounding headache and a pang of regret. He wants to stand by everything he just said--he thinks he has some counterarguments in response, too, given the fact that he's looking at what he's sure is a Hextech weapon, but Jayce doesn't offer him the chance. That should make him angry, but he can also tell that Jayce has been bottling this up for a long time, and that maybe he needs to say it. Maybe Viktor needs to hear it. He'd been so assured of his own trajectory, that he hadn't stopped to think about the consequences of what he was doing. Of the people he'd inevitably hurt, if something happened.
It's hard for him to admit, that he even has the capacity to hurt someone else in the way he seems to have, but Jayce, right now, is proof of that. Viktor's not sure he fully agrees with everything said in the heat of the moment, but at the very least he needs to let Jayce know that he's not about to give up.
He's not in the Horizon. That's fine, if a little annoying, simply because it's easier for him to make his way around the mindscape, rather than into the real world. When he can't find Jayce in the imagined forge, he starts checking all their real spaces in Cadens--the inn room, the workshop, the Academy quad. It's only after he exhausts their shared spaces that he realizes Jayce is probably somewhere that's only his.]
Hi.
[Making Viktor trudge all around Cadens to look for him is probably what he deserves, at this point, and he curses himself for not thinking to check the blacksmith's shop sooner, but he hopes, at the very least, it lets Jayce know that he's not about to give up easily. He stands in the entryway, not wanting to intrude too much in the event that Jayce actually doesn't want to deal with him, right now, and his voice is contrite.]
Can we talk?
[Viktor can't really say he doesn't deserve this. Jayce vanishes and the memory dissolves around them, leaving him with little but a pounding headache and a pang of regret. He wants to stand by everything he just said--he thinks he has some counterarguments in response, too, given the fact that he's looking at what he's sure is a Hextech weapon, but Jayce doesn't offer him the chance. That should make him angry, but he can also tell that Jayce has been bottling this up for a long time, and that maybe he needs to say it. Maybe Viktor needs to hear it. He'd been so assured of his own trajectory, that he hadn't stopped to think about the consequences of what he was doing. Of the people he'd inevitably hurt, if something happened.
It's hard for him to admit, that he even has the capacity to hurt someone else in the way he seems to have, but Jayce, right now, is proof of that. Viktor's not sure he fully agrees with everything said in the heat of the moment, but at the very least he needs to let Jayce know that he's not about to give up.
He's not in the Horizon. That's fine, if a little annoying, simply because it's easier for him to make his way around the mindscape, rather than into the real world. When he can't find Jayce in the imagined forge, he starts checking all their real spaces in Cadens--the inn room, the workshop, the Academy quad. It's only after he exhausts their shared spaces that he realizes Jayce is probably somewhere that's only his.]
Hi.
[Making Viktor trudge all around Cadens to look for him is probably what he deserves, at this point, and he curses himself for not thinking to check the blacksmith's shop sooner, but he hopes, at the very least, it lets Jayce know that he's not about to give up easily. He stands in the entryway, not wanting to intrude too much in the event that Jayce actually doesn't want to deal with him, right now, and his voice is contrite.]
Can we talk?
Edited 2022-04-21 18:02 (UTC)
[ There are a lot of things that Jayce has been bottling up and his mother has always warned him not to, because she knows her son and that he lets things fester, that he would rather let his feelings overwhelm him and hope that it goes away rather than address it. When he has the time to actually think through what he wants to say, usually he can be very concise, like when he took on Heimerdinger, with both passion and logic. But he's had a very difficult emotional time lately. A lot of things have boiled to the surface. He's in pain.
Leaving situations that are difficult 'to think' is one of his anxiety moves, but this time it was an explosion of emotion instead. And he didn't stay in Horizon, too easy to find him and walk down more memory paths, and he intentionally avoided their common spaces because when Jayce is in this state, he isn't fully able to stop his feelings from bubbling over. Physical labor always helps him. He goes to the forge and starts on what should be tomorrow's work, and when Lee gets in and sees he's made things overnight, maybe she will consider him a 'go-getter' and it'll look good for him. Either way, he needs it. The exertion helps put his anger and hurt feelings in a direction.
Jayce is shirtless because safety hazards are not of interest to him and the clear clanging of him hammering on metal can be heard from the outside. Luckily Lee doesn't live here, or she'd come yelling at him, rightfully so. Jayce is working on a sword and he's sweaty from basically going too hard since the moment he got there. It does usually purge his worst feelings. Or tire him out to the point where he doesn't have it in him to be upset anymore.
He didn't think Viktor would go looking for him, otherwise he might have felt guilty and stayed in an easy place. He assumed when he went home, he'd have to deal with the aftermath. It wasn't an intentional choice to give him any trouble, Jayce just needed a place to vent. He pauses on a swing when he hears Viktor, startled, and glances over toward him. He sets the blade to the side, unfinished for now, the guilt turning his stomach to heavy lead.
He can't look straight at him or he's going to end up apologizing until he can't talk anymore, so he instead swallows it down.]
Yes.
Leaving situations that are difficult 'to think' is one of his anxiety moves, but this time it was an explosion of emotion instead. And he didn't stay in Horizon, too easy to find him and walk down more memory paths, and he intentionally avoided their common spaces because when Jayce is in this state, he isn't fully able to stop his feelings from bubbling over. Physical labor always helps him. He goes to the forge and starts on what should be tomorrow's work, and when Lee gets in and sees he's made things overnight, maybe she will consider him a 'go-getter' and it'll look good for him. Either way, he needs it. The exertion helps put his anger and hurt feelings in a direction.
Jayce is shirtless because safety hazards are not of interest to him and the clear clanging of him hammering on metal can be heard from the outside. Luckily Lee doesn't live here, or she'd come yelling at him, rightfully so. Jayce is working on a sword and he's sweaty from basically going too hard since the moment he got there. It does usually purge his worst feelings. Or tire him out to the point where he doesn't have it in him to be upset anymore.
He didn't think Viktor would go looking for him, otherwise he might have felt guilty and stayed in an easy place. He assumed when he went home, he'd have to deal with the aftermath. It wasn't an intentional choice to give him any trouble, Jayce just needed a place to vent. He pauses on a swing when he hears Viktor, startled, and glances over toward him. He sets the blade to the side, unfinished for now, the guilt turning his stomach to heavy lead.
He can't look straight at him or he's going to end up apologizing until he can't talk anymore, so he instead swallows it down.]
Yes.
"Just as well. There would have been even more allegations of favoritism."
Heimerdinger's favorite, palling around with the Dean's Assistant. People talked enough about Viktor's position. Just as well they didn't over-complicate things, as interesting a hypothetical as it is to consider.
Rio will not be coming with them--she bumps Jayce's hand again and then flops onto the area rug, seemingly content to stay exactly where she is. Viktor imagines he'll find her back in the caves soon enough, though he's still getting used to having an ostensibly living thing in here with a mind of its own. For now, Viktor follows along, letting Jayce take the lead. Once they're out of the lift, though, it's very easy to see where this is going.
Jayce smiles almost as wide as he did that first night. It's nice to see.
"You're sentimental."
Viktor stays on the ground, just for the time being, but he leans against the door frame and folds his arms, taking in the view.
Heimerdinger's favorite, palling around with the Dean's Assistant. People talked enough about Viktor's position. Just as well they didn't over-complicate things, as interesting a hypothetical as it is to consider.
Rio will not be coming with them--she bumps Jayce's hand again and then flops onto the area rug, seemingly content to stay exactly where she is. Viktor imagines he'll find her back in the caves soon enough, though he's still getting used to having an ostensibly living thing in here with a mind of its own. For now, Viktor follows along, letting Jayce take the lead. Once they're out of the lift, though, it's very easy to see where this is going.
Jayce smiles almost as wide as he did that first night. It's nice to see.
"You're sentimental."
Viktor stays on the ground, just for the time being, but he leans against the door frame and folds his arms, taking in the view.
[Viktor shuffles in another few steps, though he still seems a bit tentative, as if he doesn't want to commit to a full-on intrusion. He'll take cues from Jayce, at least to start, but he's always been unapologetic about speaking his mind. He can certainly do that from the entryway.
This forge, unfortunately, exists in the real world and the whole room is sweltering. He stops himself, again, from making a comment about Jayce's lack of safety protocols, when it comes to working without protective equipment, but that feels like it would be hypocritical, at this point. Still, Viktor's eyes travel over him, buying him just a few more seconds while he works up the nerve to say his piece. After a moment, he begins--measured, practiced.]
I've been unkind to you. Not just about this, but about other things, as well. You're allowed to be upset with me.
[The last thing he wants is for anyone to treat him differently, or fail to hold him responsible. Viktor has just spent so long expecting other people to disappoint him that sometimes it's easier to preempt it, and his mistake (or one of them, anyway) had been counting Jayce among those people. He's still not sure he's ready forgive his actions as part of the Council, but he can at least admit that he was wrong, to lie.
There's no manual, when it comes to figuring out how to grieve for yourself. He'd become so singularly focused on his breakthrough, so embittered by the fact that everyone else seemed so ready to mourn him, that all he could think was that he needed to do everything he possibly could to stay alive. In doing so, he'd missed what he already had.]
In my urgency to save myself, I didn't consider the possible repercussions of my actions. What it would have done to you, if I'd failed and left you to deal with the aftermath.
[Viktor rarely apologies--he's usually too self-assured, too convinced that he is logical and level-headed and correct in any given situation, but he's seen the memory. He apparently went ahead with the procedure, and something went wrong, and then he'd asked Jayce to destroy the Hexcore and let him die.]
This was unfair of me. I'm sorry, Jayce.
This forge, unfortunately, exists in the real world and the whole room is sweltering. He stops himself, again, from making a comment about Jayce's lack of safety protocols, when it comes to working without protective equipment, but that feels like it would be hypocritical, at this point. Still, Viktor's eyes travel over him, buying him just a few more seconds while he works up the nerve to say his piece. After a moment, he begins--measured, practiced.]
I've been unkind to you. Not just about this, but about other things, as well. You're allowed to be upset with me.
[The last thing he wants is for anyone to treat him differently, or fail to hold him responsible. Viktor has just spent so long expecting other people to disappoint him that sometimes it's easier to preempt it, and his mistake (or one of them, anyway) had been counting Jayce among those people. He's still not sure he's ready forgive his actions as part of the Council, but he can at least admit that he was wrong, to lie.
There's no manual, when it comes to figuring out how to grieve for yourself. He'd become so singularly focused on his breakthrough, so embittered by the fact that everyone else seemed so ready to mourn him, that all he could think was that he needed to do everything he possibly could to stay alive. In doing so, he'd missed what he already had.]
In my urgency to save myself, I didn't consider the possible repercussions of my actions. What it would have done to you, if I'd failed and left you to deal with the aftermath.
[Viktor rarely apologies--he's usually too self-assured, too convinced that he is logical and level-headed and correct in any given situation, but he's seen the memory. He apparently went ahead with the procedure, and something went wrong, and then he'd asked Jayce to destroy the Hexcore and let him die.]
This was unfair of me. I'm sorry, Jayce.
[ Jayce looks broad with his clothes on, but shirtless every sculpted muscle is on display and ripples when he moves. He sets the hammer down, already making plans to close everything down soon so Viktor doesn't have to stand in the uncomfortable heat for long. Unless they're about to fight, in which case who knows how long they'll be in the same space. Jayce does expect maybe a fight; Viktor rarely apologizes, so he's genuinely shocked when that's the tone Viktor goes into his mini-speech with.
Unkind. Maybe. They've both made mistakes. Viktor doesn't know to the extent of how far Jayce went, and he will tell him, for certain. This is probably Viktor's only unkind thing in Jayce's mind, because it hurts, because even now he's uncertain his friend really gets it. He shakes his head and crosses the room to get a towel, he's covered in oil and sweat and he always tries to wash off before being around Viktor. ]
That night I sat by your bedside and I tortured myself for hours over what I did wrong. I counted every one of your breaths and I thought about the lengths I would go to for your life. But I also thought about how long you knew. You say urgency, but it wasn't always urgent, was it? You shrugged off my questions about your health as it deteriorated, and I told myself, it's fine, he would tell me if it was serious. He wouldn't lie to me about something that important.
[ Jayce wipes his face off first and puts the towel around his neck, stepping closer to Viktor. He is careful not to get too close, for a variety of reasons, and also doesn't want to tower either. He is so sad, and it all shows. The grief on every line in his face. ]
I love you, V.
[ Firmly said without any regret. Love can mean many things and he doesn't see a problem with claiming all kinds of versions of it. As if his love for Viktor isn't well-known. As if he's ever really tried to hide it in its pure form.]
It broke my heart, the idea that you would leave me without any answers. But yeah I feel like I can't be mad at you because it's me putting the burden of my feelings on your already heavy shoulders, so it's wrong. You shouldn't have to waste your energy on me. But at the same time, I wish you would.
Unkind. Maybe. They've both made mistakes. Viktor doesn't know to the extent of how far Jayce went, and he will tell him, for certain. This is probably Viktor's only unkind thing in Jayce's mind, because it hurts, because even now he's uncertain his friend really gets it. He shakes his head and crosses the room to get a towel, he's covered in oil and sweat and he always tries to wash off before being around Viktor. ]
That night I sat by your bedside and I tortured myself for hours over what I did wrong. I counted every one of your breaths and I thought about the lengths I would go to for your life. But I also thought about how long you knew. You say urgency, but it wasn't always urgent, was it? You shrugged off my questions about your health as it deteriorated, and I told myself, it's fine, he would tell me if it was serious. He wouldn't lie to me about something that important.
[ Jayce wipes his face off first and puts the towel around his neck, stepping closer to Viktor. He is careful not to get too close, for a variety of reasons, and also doesn't want to tower either. He is so sad, and it all shows. The grief on every line in his face. ]
I love you, V.
[ Firmly said without any regret. Love can mean many things and he doesn't see a problem with claiming all kinds of versions of it. As if his love for Viktor isn't well-known. As if he's ever really tried to hide it in its pure form.]
It broke my heart, the idea that you would leave me without any answers. But yeah I feel like I can't be mad at you because it's me putting the burden of my feelings on your already heavy shoulders, so it's wrong. You shouldn't have to waste your energy on me. But at the same time, I wish you would.
Edited 2022-04-22 00:43 (UTC)
They were definitely favored by Heimerdinger, Jayce in particular had been told multiple times by their mentor that he reminded him of himself. And for someone like him, that was the greatest of compliments. Jayce does hope there comes a time when he can remember Heimerdinger again without so many mixed emotions. That he won't be angry or guilty or sad, that it'll be a person who was special and important to him, even if things went wrong. But that's the sort of thing people in their 50s manage to do, not their 30s. Alas.
This was the best moment of his life, floating in this space, their discovery finally realized, a partner in science crime, the endless possibilities ahead of them. It was pure in its beauty and importance and sweetness. Jayce swims into the air and he does look lighter in more ways than one, but good memories are worth being stuck in.
"You know that about me," Jayce says with a laugh. He is very sentimental. He keeps everything for years. He plucks a gear that looks exactly like the one from that night, making it in the air, and pushes it toward Viktor who is still standing there. Maybe as an enticement, or as a reminder. It was the last time he saw Viktor smile that wide, although for those good years, they did smile and even laugh together. But they were both so free that night.
"Come on, V. You know you want to."
This was the best moment of his life, floating in this space, their discovery finally realized, a partner in science crime, the endless possibilities ahead of them. It was pure in its beauty and importance and sweetness. Jayce swims into the air and he does look lighter in more ways than one, but good memories are worth being stuck in.
"You know that about me," Jayce says with a laugh. He is very sentimental. He keeps everything for years. He plucks a gear that looks exactly like the one from that night, making it in the air, and pushes it toward Viktor who is still standing there. Maybe as an enticement, or as a reminder. It was the last time he saw Viktor smile that wide, although for those good years, they did smile and even laugh together. But they were both so free that night.
"Come on, V. You know you want to."
No, stop. You can't keep blaming yourself for that night in the lab. It isn't your job to check up on me.
[He doesn't want to be checked up on, feeling the same pang of humiliation he felt on the bridge, the deep-seated pride he harbors in spite of everything. The thought that Jayce sat at his bedside the night he collapsed, thinking about what he might have done to prevent that, well. It's all misplaced. Viktor is an adult. He can take responsibility for his own actions, even ones that end with him unconscious on the floor.
Of course, now he's being forced to acknowledge what that does to other people--to Jayce, arguably the only person whose opinion he really cares about. It's a hard pill to swallow, and his partner's truly distressed expression doesn't help.
Jayce loves him--of course he does. Jayce feels everything so thoroughly and so overtly that it all spills out all the time, in the way he acts, in the way he reaches out for Viktor to put a hand on his shoulder or at his lower back. It's impossible, at this point, not to know this singular truth about him. Still, Viktor fills in convenient, unspoken qualifiers. Like family. Like my brother. Love in the way best friends love each other and care for each other. Entertaining anything else is too painful to think about, so he files it away like he's done with the mental image of that hammer, something he's not sure he'll ever be ready to ask about.
He takes another few steps forward, seemingly undaunted by their height difference. Back on the bridge, Jayce had loomed over him. Now, Viktor stays standing, looking up to meet his eyes, unintimidated.]
I need you to understand what it's like, to have everyone look at you and talk to you like you're already dead.
[Heimerdinger, eulogizing him to his face. The Council, hardly sparing him a glance on the best days, making decisions with Jayce about Hextech like he isn't even there, or wouldn't have an opinion, or wouldn't also have the knowledge to safeguard it. The rest of Piltover, who barely knows he exists, because acknowledging him would force them to grapple with an inconvenient truth: that a Zaunite was both responsible for their prosperity, and careening towards a premature death as a result of their careless governing. Some of it was denial, of course. A chronic cough isn't much to worry about, not when it's to be expected, given where he came from. When the symptoms are so gradual, it just seemed easier to keep ignoring them, in favor of what's more important. In the process, however, he'd allowed himself to avoid confronting an uncomfortable reality.
A mistake, obviously. But one he can't exactly walk back, at this point, so all he can do is try to explain.]
I have spent my whole life trying to be recognized as more than, than this. [A vague gesture to himself--his body, and all of its inadequacies.] Our work, Jayce--our partnership, is, it's the most important thing in my life. I couldn't stand the thought of you looking at me and seeing only my illness. It would have distracted us from everything we needed to accomplish.
[He doesn't want to be checked up on, feeling the same pang of humiliation he felt on the bridge, the deep-seated pride he harbors in spite of everything. The thought that Jayce sat at his bedside the night he collapsed, thinking about what he might have done to prevent that, well. It's all misplaced. Viktor is an adult. He can take responsibility for his own actions, even ones that end with him unconscious on the floor.
Of course, now he's being forced to acknowledge what that does to other people--to Jayce, arguably the only person whose opinion he really cares about. It's a hard pill to swallow, and his partner's truly distressed expression doesn't help.
Jayce loves him--of course he does. Jayce feels everything so thoroughly and so overtly that it all spills out all the time, in the way he acts, in the way he reaches out for Viktor to put a hand on his shoulder or at his lower back. It's impossible, at this point, not to know this singular truth about him. Still, Viktor fills in convenient, unspoken qualifiers. Like family. Like my brother. Love in the way best friends love each other and care for each other. Entertaining anything else is too painful to think about, so he files it away like he's done with the mental image of that hammer, something he's not sure he'll ever be ready to ask about.
He takes another few steps forward, seemingly undaunted by their height difference. Back on the bridge, Jayce had loomed over him. Now, Viktor stays standing, looking up to meet his eyes, unintimidated.]
I need you to understand what it's like, to have everyone look at you and talk to you like you're already dead.
[Heimerdinger, eulogizing him to his face. The Council, hardly sparing him a glance on the best days, making decisions with Jayce about Hextech like he isn't even there, or wouldn't have an opinion, or wouldn't also have the knowledge to safeguard it. The rest of Piltover, who barely knows he exists, because acknowledging him would force them to grapple with an inconvenient truth: that a Zaunite was both responsible for their prosperity, and careening towards a premature death as a result of their careless governing. Some of it was denial, of course. A chronic cough isn't much to worry about, not when it's to be expected, given where he came from. When the symptoms are so gradual, it just seemed easier to keep ignoring them, in favor of what's more important. In the process, however, he'd allowed himself to avoid confronting an uncomfortable reality.
A mistake, obviously. But one he can't exactly walk back, at this point, so all he can do is try to explain.]
I have spent my whole life trying to be recognized as more than, than this. [A vague gesture to himself--his body, and all of its inadequacies.] Our work, Jayce--our partnership, is, it's the most important thing in my life. I couldn't stand the thought of you looking at me and seeing only my illness. It would have distracted us from everything we needed to accomplish.
Edited 2022-04-22 15:39 (UTC)
It's not my job, it's not work to care about you or worry about you. That's just friendship.
[ Jayce may not have a lot of friends, he really and truly is not as popular as anyone thinks. Maybe in a generic outside way, that people respect and admire him as a symbolic figure, but it doesn't translate to deep relationships. But he still knows what friendship is, he knows how he feels about Viktor, Caitlyn, and Mel, and how those relationships are fundamental to who he is. And while his feelings also very, very complicated when it comes to Mel, they are in their purest form with Viktor.
He loves him without designations, it's general, he loves Viktor and all the things that make up who he is. From his brilliance to his stubbornness, even when they're struggling with the latter, he's such a unique and special individual, someone who has taken all of Jayce's heart from that night. The fact he's in love with him too is a part of the whole, and while he can't help but long for Viktor sometimes, desire to be everything to him, it also can be bottled up. And they can still be this to each other, partners, best friends. It's not a loss, as long as he has a part of him.
Jayce does know the disrespect and obliviousness of the Piltover toward Viktor, and he's tried to push it into their heads that Viktor is as important as he is, he's made sure to mention him in every conversation about Hextech, but there just is no way to make people stop being prejudiced. But he can't understand how it feels to Viktor, and he wants to, he listens to him, he tries to hear him.
Jayce is imposing but he rarely means to be, and he feels like they're on the same level, even if he's looking down a few inches at Viktor.]
I have never looked at you and seen those things. I look at you and I see your mind. You are the smartest person I have ever met. I see your dry humor and your dedication and the type of confidence I envy. Being around you is like being next to the sun, you're so bright and brilliant and getting your attention is overwhelming in the best way. I'm addicted to your attention.
[ This is one of those times when Jayce really cannot help the way he looks at him, with open adoration, with a faint wistful smile on his face. That intense sincerity softened with tender emotion. ]
You didn't just save my life, you made my life what it is. You being sick and dying only means that I could lose my sun, but that's not how I see you. And that would have always been true if you gave me the chance.
[ Jayce runs fingers through sweaty dark hair, knowing that maybe he's gone too far with his admiration, but it's just how it is. So be it. ]
But here's the thing, Vik. You're making friends here, and they care about you, and they're not blind. A few people have asked me why you look unwell, and I've lied for you, and I've done pretty well, for me.
[ Because Jayce is a very, very bad liar, but he's managed to basically mix in enough truth with the shrug off for it to work. ]
And I know you're going to be mad they asked, but that's what happens when you let people into your life, they care what happens to you. Maybe you don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation, but crazy idea, you could consider letting people you care about in, just a little. Not everyone is going to let you down.
[ Jayce reaches out and touches Viktor's arm, just a light tap, and a wry smile. ]
But if you let all of them in before you let me, I'm going to take your cane and hit you with it.
[ Jayce may not have a lot of friends, he really and truly is not as popular as anyone thinks. Maybe in a generic outside way, that people respect and admire him as a symbolic figure, but it doesn't translate to deep relationships. But he still knows what friendship is, he knows how he feels about Viktor, Caitlyn, and Mel, and how those relationships are fundamental to who he is. And while his feelings also very, very complicated when it comes to Mel, they are in their purest form with Viktor.
He loves him without designations, it's general, he loves Viktor and all the things that make up who he is. From his brilliance to his stubbornness, even when they're struggling with the latter, he's such a unique and special individual, someone who has taken all of Jayce's heart from that night. The fact he's in love with him too is a part of the whole, and while he can't help but long for Viktor sometimes, desire to be everything to him, it also can be bottled up. And they can still be this to each other, partners, best friends. It's not a loss, as long as he has a part of him.
Jayce does know the disrespect and obliviousness of the Piltover toward Viktor, and he's tried to push it into their heads that Viktor is as important as he is, he's made sure to mention him in every conversation about Hextech, but there just is no way to make people stop being prejudiced. But he can't understand how it feels to Viktor, and he wants to, he listens to him, he tries to hear him.
Jayce is imposing but he rarely means to be, and he feels like they're on the same level, even if he's looking down a few inches at Viktor.]
I have never looked at you and seen those things. I look at you and I see your mind. You are the smartest person I have ever met. I see your dry humor and your dedication and the type of confidence I envy. Being around you is like being next to the sun, you're so bright and brilliant and getting your attention is overwhelming in the best way. I'm addicted to your attention.
[ This is one of those times when Jayce really cannot help the way he looks at him, with open adoration, with a faint wistful smile on his face. That intense sincerity softened with tender emotion. ]
You didn't just save my life, you made my life what it is. You being sick and dying only means that I could lose my sun, but that's not how I see you. And that would have always been true if you gave me the chance.
[ Jayce runs fingers through sweaty dark hair, knowing that maybe he's gone too far with his admiration, but it's just how it is. So be it. ]
But here's the thing, Vik. You're making friends here, and they care about you, and they're not blind. A few people have asked me why you look unwell, and I've lied for you, and I've done pretty well, for me.
[ Because Jayce is a very, very bad liar, but he's managed to basically mix in enough truth with the shrug off for it to work. ]
And I know you're going to be mad they asked, but that's what happens when you let people into your life, they care what happens to you. Maybe you don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation, but crazy idea, you could consider letting people you care about in, just a little. Not everyone is going to let you down.
[ Jayce reaches out and touches Viktor's arm, just a light tap, and a wry smile. ]
But if you let all of them in before you let me, I'm going to take your cane and hit you with it.
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