You never made me uncomfortable. I meant it, when I said our partnership is the most important thing in my life.
[Whatever form it takes, and he, too, wouldn't trade it for anything. Taking things a step further is exciting, and a little scary, and he still isn't sure how long it will last, but he knows that he'll be glad to have had the chance. He doesn't need to ask if Jayce feels the same way--it's written all over his face. For now, he enjoys their closeness, leaning into the hand that strokes through his hair. It's soothing. He's spent so long rejecting comfort that now that he can so openly enjoy it, he does so.
Jayce reaffirms what he already knows, but Viktor still feels a pang of remorse. He wasn't exactly planning on having this conversation now, wanting instead to enjoy the moment, but if Jayce is the one who takes it there, he would be remiss if he tried to avoid it.]
This isn't going to be easy. I might have more bad days than good ones.
[Jayce is so blindingly optimistic and so focused on their success and the future that Viktor can't help but think about the smaller, painful moments that are sure to come. What happens when Viktor can't work and takes it all out on the only person available? The healing is a stop-gap for now, but it still might happen. He might get worse. He's not sure if either of them are prepared for it, and though he knows Jayce won't take the out, Viktor needs to offer it anyway, if only to assuage his own guilt.]
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Date: 2022-07-01 01:59 am (UTC)[Whatever form it takes, and he, too, wouldn't trade it for anything. Taking things a step further is exciting, and a little scary, and he still isn't sure how long it will last, but he knows that he'll be glad to have had the chance. He doesn't need to ask if Jayce feels the same way--it's written all over his face. For now, he enjoys their closeness, leaning into the hand that strokes through his hair. It's soothing. He's spent so long rejecting comfort that now that he can so openly enjoy it, he does so.
Jayce reaffirms what he already knows, but Viktor still feels a pang of remorse. He wasn't exactly planning on having this conversation now, wanting instead to enjoy the moment, but if Jayce is the one who takes it there, he would be remiss if he tried to avoid it.]
This isn't going to be easy. I might have more bad days than good ones.
[Jayce is so blindingly optimistic and so focused on their success and the future that Viktor can't help but think about the smaller, painful moments that are sure to come. What happens when Viktor can't work and takes it all out on the only person available? The healing is a stop-gap for now, but it still might happen. He might get worse. He's not sure if either of them are prepared for it, and though he knows Jayce won't take the out, Viktor needs to offer it anyway, if only to assuage his own guilt.]
I won't blame you if it's too much.