[ Jayce keeps watching because Viktor wants him to, otherwise he wouldn't have invited him in here, and it's a thrill. He isn't blind to how skinny he is, he's sick, that's fact, but it doesn't make Jayce want him any less. All that beautiful white skin is revealed to him now and he really lets his eyes travel over it. He settles into the water and Jayce unconsciously licks his lips, watching it drip over his face. He is attracted to Viktor for so many reasons, his mind and personality and heart for example, but if he didn't also want him this way, they wouldn't be here.
He snaps out of it when thinking about what would have happened if he did swim through the magic and kiss Viktor that night. He has thought about it and fantasized about it before. Jayce walks over and sits on the floor next to the bathtub, settling comfortably there for now. ]
You did, which is why I wouldn't have. What we were doing was more important. I had to make the risk worth it.
[ And the risk of them becoming romantic on top of professional was too much. They both know that. Jayce is optimistic, he actually thinks they could make it work. He thinks they'd still be together, if they figured out how to balance everything back then. It's not as if he's ever changed his mind that Viktor is his equal. Viktor really did give up everything to help Jayce, and they were lucky it worked. His love for him as his science partner really did take precedence over the lust he felt toward him for those first few years. ]
You know that future I told you I dreamed about? When we wouldn't retire. We were always a couple when I imagined it. I knew that was my ideal.
[ They'd been working together long enough for him to feel like it had to be the sort of possibility he dreamed of. He's always wanted to be loved, always wanted to have the kind of relationship that his parents had. They were well-matched, and the only one that's been able to truly match him is Viktor. That was his forever. But trying to make it happen was the hard part. It seemed like he waited too long. And when Viktor's illness was made obvious, it felt like it was too late.
Jayce turns his head to look at him, he can lean the very short distance apart to kiss his cheek so he does. Because he can. ]
But you, my love, are very difficult to read. Even here, when I thought we were headed somewhere, I wasn't sure.
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Date: 2022-06-18 07:51 pm (UTC)He snaps out of it when thinking about what would have happened if he did swim through the magic and kiss Viktor that night. He has thought about it and fantasized about it before. Jayce walks over and sits on the floor next to the bathtub, settling comfortably there for now. ]
You did, which is why I wouldn't have. What we were doing was more important. I had to make the risk worth it.
[ And the risk of them becoming romantic on top of professional was too much. They both know that. Jayce is optimistic, he actually thinks they could make it work. He thinks they'd still be together, if they figured out how to balance everything back then. It's not as if he's ever changed his mind that Viktor is his equal. Viktor really did give up everything to help Jayce, and they were lucky it worked. His love for him as his science partner really did take precedence over the lust he felt toward him for those first few years. ]
You know that future I told you I dreamed about? When we wouldn't retire. We were always a couple when I imagined it. I knew that was my ideal.
[ They'd been working together long enough for him to feel like it had to be the sort of possibility he dreamed of. He's always wanted to be loved, always wanted to have the kind of relationship that his parents had. They were well-matched, and the only one that's been able to truly match him is Viktor. That was his forever. But trying to make it happen was the hard part. It seemed like he waited too long. And when Viktor's illness was made obvious, it felt like it was too late.
Jayce turns his head to look at him, he can lean the very short distance apart to kiss his cheek so he does. Because he can. ]
But you, my love, are very difficult to read. Even here, when I thought we were headed somewhere, I wasn't sure.