It's not my job, it's not work to care about you or worry about you. That's just friendship.
[ Jayce may not have a lot of friends, he really and truly is not as popular as anyone thinks. Maybe in a generic outside way, that people respect and admire him as a symbolic figure, but it doesn't translate to deep relationships. But he still knows what friendship is, he knows how he feels about Viktor, Caitlyn, and Mel, and how those relationships are fundamental to who he is. And while his feelings also very, very complicated when it comes to Mel, they are in their purest form with Viktor.
He loves him without designations, it's general, he loves Viktor and all the things that make up who he is. From his brilliance to his stubbornness, even when they're struggling with the latter, he's such a unique and special individual, someone who has taken all of Jayce's heart from that night. The fact he's in love with him too is a part of the whole, and while he can't help but long for Viktor sometimes, desire to be everything to him, it also can be bottled up. And they can still be this to each other, partners, best friends. It's not a loss, as long as he has a part of him.
Jayce does know the disrespect and obliviousness of the Piltover toward Viktor, and he's tried to push it into their heads that Viktor is as important as he is, he's made sure to mention him in every conversation about Hextech, but there just is no way to make people stop being prejudiced. But he can't understand how it feels to Viktor, and he wants to, he listens to him, he tries to hear him.
Jayce is imposing but he rarely means to be, and he feels like they're on the same level, even if he's looking down a few inches at Viktor.]
I have never looked at you and seen those things. I look at you and I see your mind. You are the smartest person I have ever met. I see your dry humor and your dedication and the type of confidence I envy. Being around you is like being next to the sun, you're so bright and brilliant and getting your attention is overwhelming in the best way. I'm addicted to your attention.
[ This is one of those times when Jayce really cannot help the way he looks at him, with open adoration, with a faint wistful smile on his face. That intense sincerity softened with tender emotion. ]
You didn't just save my life, you made my life what it is. You being sick and dying only means that I could lose my sun, but that's not how I see you. And that would have always been true if you gave me the chance.
[ Jayce runs fingers through sweaty dark hair, knowing that maybe he's gone too far with his admiration, but it's just how it is. So be it. ]
But here's the thing, Vik. You're making friends here, and they care about you, and they're not blind. A few people have asked me why you look unwell, and I've lied for you, and I've done pretty well, for me.
[ Because Jayce is a very, very bad liar, but he's managed to basically mix in enough truth with the shrug off for it to work. ]
And I know you're going to be mad they asked, but that's what happens when you let people into your life, they care what happens to you. Maybe you don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation, but crazy idea, you could consider letting people you care about in, just a little. Not everyone is going to let you down.
[ Jayce reaches out and touches Viktor's arm, just a light tap, and a wry smile. ]
But if you let all of them in before you let me, I'm going to take your cane and hit you with it.
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Date: 2022-04-22 04:50 pm (UTC)[ Jayce may not have a lot of friends, he really and truly is not as popular as anyone thinks. Maybe in a generic outside way, that people respect and admire him as a symbolic figure, but it doesn't translate to deep relationships. But he still knows what friendship is, he knows how he feels about Viktor, Caitlyn, and Mel, and how those relationships are fundamental to who he is. And while his feelings also very, very complicated when it comes to Mel, they are in their purest form with Viktor.
He loves him without designations, it's general, he loves Viktor and all the things that make up who he is. From his brilliance to his stubbornness, even when they're struggling with the latter, he's such a unique and special individual, someone who has taken all of Jayce's heart from that night. The fact he's in love with him too is a part of the whole, and while he can't help but long for Viktor sometimes, desire to be everything to him, it also can be bottled up. And they can still be this to each other, partners, best friends. It's not a loss, as long as he has a part of him.
Jayce does know the disrespect and obliviousness of the Piltover toward Viktor, and he's tried to push it into their heads that Viktor is as important as he is, he's made sure to mention him in every conversation about Hextech, but there just is no way to make people stop being prejudiced. But he can't understand how it feels to Viktor, and he wants to, he listens to him, he tries to hear him.
Jayce is imposing but he rarely means to be, and he feels like they're on the same level, even if he's looking down a few inches at Viktor.]
I have never looked at you and seen those things. I look at you and I see your mind. You are the smartest person I have ever met. I see your dry humor and your dedication and the type of confidence I envy. Being around you is like being next to the sun, you're so bright and brilliant and getting your attention is overwhelming in the best way. I'm addicted to your attention.
[ This is one of those times when Jayce really cannot help the way he looks at him, with open adoration, with a faint wistful smile on his face. That intense sincerity softened with tender emotion. ]
You didn't just save my life, you made my life what it is. You being sick and dying only means that I could lose my sun, but that's not how I see you. And that would have always been true if you gave me the chance.
[ Jayce runs fingers through sweaty dark hair, knowing that maybe he's gone too far with his admiration, but it's just how it is. So be it. ]
But here's the thing, Vik. You're making friends here, and they care about you, and they're not blind. A few people have asked me why you look unwell, and I've lied for you, and I've done pretty well, for me.
[ Because Jayce is a very, very bad liar, but he's managed to basically mix in enough truth with the shrug off for it to work. ]
And I know you're going to be mad they asked, but that's what happens when you let people into your life, they care what happens to you. Maybe you don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation, but crazy idea, you could consider letting people you care about in, just a little. Not everyone is going to let you down.
[ Jayce reaches out and touches Viktor's arm, just a light tap, and a wry smile. ]
But if you let all of them in before you let me, I'm going to take your cane and hit you with it.