"I know all the logic, love, I do. I could have said something too." This is not a blame situation of why they couldn't be together beforehand. They both know, and Jayce now understands how Viktor's illness factored in, which he wasn't aware of before. If he had all the pieces then, he would have gotten it, and more than that, he probably would have done the same thing. Loved him but prioritized their work, Viktor's life's work.
He regrets not having had it sooner, but at the same time, it feels like only now does it really all work. As much as he likes to think they would have been happy together, there is no guarantee, there were a lot of pieces moving in their lives. One more complication could have broken them instead, and that would have been disaster for their work. So the aching, the suffering, in the end, he chalks it up to doing the right thing despite personal disappointments. But at least he has Viktor.
He promised to live in the moment with Viktor and that is what he wants. Jayce smiles faintly at him and starts to reply but his breath catches instead, Viktor's hand causing all of the blood to instantly drop down. That almost casual caress has him fully hard and he drops his free hand into the blanket, twisting. "I wanted you to be happy," he murmurs. If Viktor's happiness was because of another man, he would learn to live with it. He hid it and lived with it. Now Jayce knows that he is the cause of Viktor's happiness and it means more than he can say.
"I know you love me and love my mind and my intensity, you've proven that." And he is still willing to do more for Jayce, to show him that, to give him everything he longs for. Jayce sees that, it doesn't require someone to be as emotive as he is, Viktor's actions are there like now. His lips though curve up after that and there's heat in his eyes as he curls his hand along Viktor's jaw and encourages his head up to look at him. "But maybe I like the idea that you really just want to fuck me."
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Date: 2022-10-02 04:44 am (UTC)He regrets not having had it sooner, but at the same time, it feels like only now does it really all work. As much as he likes to think they would have been happy together, there is no guarantee, there were a lot of pieces moving in their lives. One more complication could have broken them instead, and that would have been disaster for their work. So the aching, the suffering, in the end, he chalks it up to doing the right thing despite personal disappointments. But at least he has Viktor.
He promised to live in the moment with Viktor and that is what he wants. Jayce smiles faintly at him and starts to reply but his breath catches instead, Viktor's hand causing all of the blood to instantly drop down. That almost casual caress has him fully hard and he drops his free hand into the blanket, twisting. "I wanted you to be happy," he murmurs. If Viktor's happiness was because of another man, he would learn to live with it. He hid it and lived with it. Now Jayce knows that he is the cause of Viktor's happiness and it means more than he can say.
"I know you love me and love my mind and my intensity, you've proven that." And he is still willing to do more for Jayce, to show him that, to give him everything he longs for. Jayce sees that, it doesn't require someone to be as emotive as he is, Viktor's actions are there like now. His lips though curve up after that and there's heat in his eyes as he curls his hand along Viktor's jaw and encourages his head up to look at him. "But maybe I like the idea that you really just want to fuck me."