Occasionally Jayce gets embarrassed about how much reassurance he needs, but Viktor seems to make it easy, since a few words from him can soothe any concerns he has. And sometimes when they're in bed, it is even easier. Jayce gets a lot of confidence from their bedroom and still glows the morning after, several weeks into their relationship, because it isn't just about the sex for him. It is being loved and wanted and chosen by Viktor that makes him face every day feeling stronger.
Some of this is about reassurance, and some of it is honestly just turning him on. Jayce is getting hard from only kissing and words, that is how much it does it for him. He could be embarrassed or he could enjoy it. He swallows when Viktor's finger teases at the hem of his pants and slides his hand against Viktor's soft hair, feeling very locked into every movement of his hands.
The reference to Viktor being with other people startles him as that is not what he expected and he never thought they were going to talk about this. It's not a bad thing, but he runs his tongue over his dry lips. Viktor is asking because he likely knows the answer, so Jayce doesn't have to feel guilty about it.
"I didn't like sharing you, even before I knew why." Jayce blushes, shivering at the touch of his teeth. He almost started to get nervous before that and the reassuring brush of Viktor's fingers against his stomach, so he knows he is safe. "I wanted your attention on me." So nothing has changed on that front in seven years.
"Did you ever think about me? I was your type, but you never ...."
Maybe this is part of it too. Jayce was wanted by so many people and he liked that, he gave into it a lot in those first few years, basking in it, feeling so special at the time. Yet Viktor was the one he could never catch the eye of, and when that frustration turned into heartache, it stayed the same truth: Viktor didn't want him. He could come up with these fantasies of how it could be with them and he could stand by being his best friend and loving him silently, respectful, grateful for being near him, but it would always be unrequited.
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Date: 2022-10-02 02:56 am (UTC)Some of this is about reassurance, and some of it is honestly just turning him on. Jayce is getting hard from only kissing and words, that is how much it does it for him. He could be embarrassed or he could enjoy it. He swallows when Viktor's finger teases at the hem of his pants and slides his hand against Viktor's soft hair, feeling very locked into every movement of his hands.
The reference to Viktor being with other people startles him as that is not what he expected and he never thought they were going to talk about this. It's not a bad thing, but he runs his tongue over his dry lips. Viktor is asking because he likely knows the answer, so Jayce doesn't have to feel guilty about it.
"I didn't like sharing you, even before I knew why." Jayce blushes, shivering at the touch of his teeth. He almost started to get nervous before that and the reassuring brush of Viktor's fingers against his stomach, so he knows he is safe. "I wanted your attention on me." So nothing has changed on that front in seven years.
"Did you ever think about me? I was your type, but you never ...."
Maybe this is part of it too. Jayce was wanted by so many people and he liked that, he gave into it a lot in those first few years, basking in it, feeling so special at the time. Yet Viktor was the one he could never catch the eye of, and when that frustration turned into heartache, it stayed the same truth: Viktor didn't want him. He could come up with these fantasies of how it could be with them and he could stand by being his best friend and loving him silently, respectful, grateful for being near him, but it would always be unrequited.
"Yes, I was jealous. Horribly, ugly jealous."